Alison: Can I also point out the
other thing that I just noticed.

You and I are twinning.

Matt: Howso?

Alison: We're both wearing
black v-neck tshirts.

Gross.

Matt: Is it gross or is it delightful?

Alison: Hive mind is in
full effect here on ADHd20.

Matt: Hive mind.

Hi, Alison.

Alison: Hello, Matt.

It feels like it's been so long.

Matt: It does because
we've been, I've been away.

and by a way, I've been
living in another place.

And now I'm back to my own place, which

Alison: Yaaaaay!!

Matt: Yeah, we've learned a lesson there.

That it's, more difficult to take ADHd20
on the road, but we managed to do it.

Managed to do it somehow, we did it.

Um,

Alison: We've been getting it done
and we have been living by our

own self-set-into-motion mantra
of done is better than perfect.

Matt: Done is better than perfect.

Alison: Are you ready?

To do the thing that we now are going
to start doing to open our episodes.

And roll a D100 and ask questions?

Matt: Yes.

Yes.

I know.

This is the new thing, by the way,
if you didn't catch last week's.

We're actually in the, we're basically
in the right time now, we're in the

Alison: We are!

Matt: We're in the right, frame of mind.

We're no longer living in
the past or the future.

But yes, if you

Alison: We're current!

Matt: This is happening, y'all!

Last week the episode where you
started building a beautiful

ADHd20 D100 table of questions.

Alison: Some about ADHD, some about
D&D, some about everything and nothing.

Everything everywhere.

All at once.

nothing at all, too.

Yup.

What'd you roll?

Matt: Oh, geez.

First, I have to roll.

Alison: Already distracted yourself.

We're off to a great start.

Matt: 75.

Alison: 75.

Your question is.

I don't think you're going to like this
one, so going to ask it of you anyways.

You're going to a Con!

Who are you cosplaying as?

Matt: Oh, no.

I'm going to a con.

Any kind of, any specific con?

Alison: Any con.

I think what I wrote it, assume
some kind of, nerd flavor con.

But if there's a different con that
you see yourself going to, you can.

In fact let's make that
part of the question.

What con would you go to, if you
could go to any con right now this

year and who would you cosplay?

Matt: You know, This is funny because you
say that I wouldn't like this episode.

I probably would never
go to a con and cosplay.

So you're correct about that,
but I was just thinking about...

I just came up with what would be a
great cosplay outfit, which of course

I would use for Halloween instead.

But what the heck was it?

It was something really obscure.

Oh,

Alison: The hipster remains.

Matt: The hipster remains, There
was one there's one year that I

actually really wanted to go as Dream.

And Lindsay would be Death.

Of, Dream and Death of the
Neil Gaiman universe, Sandman.

Sandman.

I thought that would be really fun to do.

Basically you're dyeing your hair,
black, teasing it up really big.

And you know, wearing ahnks.

And really heavy black eyeliner.

I'm very excited about that
show coming out on Netflix.

I've been a Sandman
fan for many years, so.

Buckle up Alison, cause I'm looking
at you and there's absolutely no

level of, comprehension there.

Alison: None.

Matt: Strap in because there's a
whole lot of, nerdery a lot more

nerdy for you ahead for us to discuss.

Alison: I can't wait for that.

Matt: Still probably some of the
best written graphic novel stories.

Yeah, we'll talk about it.

We'll talk about it anyway.

So Death and Dream.

of.

But There was another one.

If it comes to me, I'll...

Alison: Middle of the
episode, just blurt it out

Matt: Blurt out.

Okay.

Alright.

How about you?

Alison: I rolled in 88.

Matt: You rolled an 88.

This is a good one.

Do you have any superstitions?

Alison: I don't currently, I will say
back in the olden days, when I used to

perform more regularly, I always did,
like always had some little something

that I would have to like do backstage
before I would go on the stage.

But I don't really have any now?

Matt: Hold on, hold on.

Hold on.

Let me, I'm sorry to interrupt you.

I watched you pull out like
a, a tree's worth of incense.

Light it.

And do this entire freaking
ceremony over your dice, dude.

Alison: Is that a
superstition, I guess it is.

Yeah.

You're totally right.

So I had real bad dice juju
castle birthday weekend.

I totally forgot about this.

So I did, I pulled out my Florida
water and my tarot cards, and

lit a candle, and pulled a card.

For every set of dice that I have
to see what they wanted to tell me.

Yeah.

That, that, you're right.

You're right.

You're right.

I think of that as more witchy, but I
guess that's a flavor of superstition.

Matt: I think so.

I think so.

To me, the definition of superstition,
which anybody listening to this can

correct me because I accept corrections.

But to me a superstition is more
something that you do or don't do in

order to make something better or worse.

That's what you were doing.

So.

my grandmother was hard,
hardcore superstitious.

No hats on beds, no going
back indoors if you've left.

So anytime somebody had to go back in
because they forgot something, which as

you can imagine was a big problem for me.

Pretty much every time we left the
house, I would have to run back in.

You had to sit down and count
to 10 or it would be bad luck.

The obvious ones, the mirror breaking.

Black cats, all this.

All this stuff, but Kiki
was really superstitious.

So I grew up with all that.

Bread and butter.

If you're walking with somebody
and something crosses between you,

you have to say bread and butter.

Or else you'll have bad luck.

Alison: Wow.

I've not even heard of a lot of these.

Matt: Uh, my little hyper-focus thing
when I was at a certain age as I got

a book on superstitions and I learned
about every single one of them.

So that I could know,.

without Kiki even telling me,
because I loved her so much.

I wanted her to think I was cool
and know all the superstitions.

Yeah.

Alison: I am incapable of
walking past a dandelion and

not picking it, making a wish.

And if I don't blow all the seeds off in
one breath that wish will not come true.

Matt: Wow.

See you've got more than you think.

You're living in superstition.

Alison: I'm just steeped in them.

Well that was fun.

Matt: Yeah, thanks for that table.

Alison: I do need to give credit
where credit is due on the table.

Our friend Fitz, who we mention
on most episodes helped with this.

And a few other friends as well.

So thank you.

For those of you who helped
me put this together.

I feel like I know a lot about you, Matt,
but there's always more I could learn.

Matt: I have a new podcast goal.

Are you ready?

Alison: Yes.

Matt: My new podcast goal is that we do
as many of these as it takes to go through

every single one of the 100 questions.

Alison: I'm so down for that.

Challenge accepted.

Let's do it.

Well, are we ready to dive
into today's topic at hand?

Matt: Let's dive into today's
topic and it's all you, you

have had your mind on the game.

That's not the phrase,
but you've had your game.

Eye on the ball and you came
prepared with some show notes.

Alison: I did.

We'll back up a little bit into how
I got into this in the spirit of

full disclosure and sharing things.

Um, I have been testing out a
couple of different ADHD medications

over the past few months.

So I recently decided that the first one
that we started me on was not for me.

So I am now on a brand new medication.

And, uh, one of the side
effects is insomnia.

So I have been wide awake for,
stretches of hours at a time

in the middle of the night.

Super chill.

Love it so much.

And, so during one of said, ADHD
med-induced insomnia bouts, I happened

to notice that a message had come in from
a good friend of mine who lives in Italy.

So Her name is Taryn and we've
been very good friends since

the very first day of college.

Uh, So it was this string of, screenshots
of this guy's kind of Twitter rant.

And she sent it in the
spirit of, this is me.

This is you.

I'm so glad we found each other.

I'm not going to read the whole thing,
but I'm going to read, the bits and

pieces from it because I just, I, it
did, it resonated with me so, so much.

So it starts out and says, I've
mentioned this before, but one of

the hardest things about ADHD is
how it can wreck your relationships

because you don't have friendship
degradation mechanics, like everyone

Matt: Mmhmm.

Alison: Like my friendship degradation
mechanics are just straight up broken.

I can go years without hearing from
someone at all and still feel exactly

the same level of familiarity about them.

But they don't because a friendship
degrades if you don't take care of it.

It's just kind of like sad because
no matter how hard I try to keep up

with friendships, I'll inevitably
have a dry spell of a few months and

by that point, the other person has
moved on because why wouldn't they?

It's the one skill my
ADHD fucks on the hardest.

Anyways, this is why I like being friends
with other ADHD, autistic, neurodivergent

people because we see each other and we're
like aaayyyyyyyyyy every time friendship

degradation mechanic broke for both of us.

And, you know, goes on, in the thread.

basically one of my favorite parts of it
is he says, I wish people understood that.

People who do this don't
deliberately ghost people.

It's I thought it had been two days.

It has actually been two weeks and
now this person will be really mad.

So I guess I can't say anything now.

And then that keeps happening.

So yeah.

Reading that whole thread
just really spoke to me.

And I responded to Taryn and ha I'm
getting this at three o'clock in the

morning, my time because of ADHD.

And it's talking about our
relationship and us as individuals

and in friendship with ADHD.

And I think that's a beautiful thing
because as we've spoken about before,

that's become the whole theme of this
podcast is just assuring the rest of

the world that we're in this together.

So, Yeah, friendship
degradation mechanics.

Matt: Yeah.

I really like friendship
degradation mechanics.

I also, by the way, I also
like his Twitter handle,

which is I make psychedelic.

I make psychedelic klezmer funk.

I want to hear psychedelic
klezmer funk, by the way.

Um, I love this because it is something
that I've been thinking about a lot

too, because I don't think that this is
something that a lot of people realize.

Like you could know all
manner of things about ADHD.

You And you still don't know about this.

And, I think that because
I am aware of it happening.

I am more stressed out about
friendship degradation mechanics

than I probably should be.

Because in my mind, exactly.

It's just, it's been a little while.

And so I won't lose these
people as a friend, but.

I don't know what they're thinking
and I get really wrapped up and I have

calendars and recurring tasks that
try to get me to call and write and.

And speak to, the people that mean
something to me, and sometimes it works.

And a lot of times it just is
a task that keeps showing up on

Alison: Getting bumped.

Matt: CA Bumped every week.

And it is a true problem.

I thought for the longest time that
my inability to make friends You know,

once I hit 30 something, 35 or so.

Uh, Was either because they were
Midwestern and they didn't need friends

or I was getting lazier or I had been
in a rock and roll band and every single

one of my friends was a fan of the band.

So I didn't have to work hard.

So I didn't learn the skills.

You know, I came up with all
these different reasons why

friendship was difficult for me.

And I think I've learned that
no, it's actually ADHD, which, is

actually a little bit sad, but that's
why we're here to talk about it.

What are your thoughts about this?

Alison: It's similar to kind of what
we've talked about before, along the

lines of the less sexy aspects of ADHD.

We've talked about the fun,
the sparkly, the shiny.

But this is one of those where, you
know, people just think that you're

being lazy or you don't love them, or
you think you're too good for them.

And I'm saying these things, because
these are all things I've heard.

That, that, friends of my past
have given me as feedback.

And of course that makes
me feel like garbage.

Like I don't.

I don't ever want anybody to think
I feel like I'm too good for them.

Um, Or even too busy?

But I do know my tendency in
friendship, in life, in work, and

what's in the refrigerator, is to go
for what's directly in front of me.

So it's not that I don't love my
friends, that I'm not thinking of them

and wanting to spend time with them.

It's just that sometimes.

Unless you're the thing directly
in front of me screaming.

A lot of other things just
accidentally get swept to the side.

And then, yeah, we don't have
quite the same relationship

with time that others do.

So, you know, In my head I'm like,
oh, it hadn't been that long.

And I think I'm just going to reach
back out and pick up where we left

off and with some friends you do.

And I, and that, that was the line, like
in a thread I loved the most of like,

when you again, feel seen, like you find
somebody who's like, yeah, I got you.

It's fine.

Um, That only helps you sink into
that comfort level even more.

But then when you have people who don't
understand who think that you were

just aloof, lazy, entitled, whatever.

Feels bad.

so.

Matt: Should we take a moment to
say hello to those friends who

might be listening to this and.

And, you know, just say, Hey.

You're part of our object permanence.

And has nothing to do
with how much we love you.

Alison: And I'm thankful that
now I have a lot of friends in my

life who will just reach out now.

And so if they're thinking of
me, they just text me and say,

Hey, friend, it's been awhile.

You want to get on a phone call?

You want to get together?

Matt: Yeah.

Alison: And I appreciate those
friends for sticking by me.

Through the less than ideal
aspects of my personality, my ADHD.

And otherwise.

Matt: Yeah, I'm going to actively
read the list of people right now.

That are bumped.

Again, it's not.

even bumped sounds terrible because.

It is just so hard to explain.

But let's see.

So luckily I do pretty
well with Mom, right?

I try to call her every week or so.

My friend Nathan, I talked to
a lot, but, my friend, Katie.

I just would talk to her
every week and I just don't.

Um, Chris Slack is a great friend
that's always fun to talk to.

Alison: Yep.

Matt: I'm doing better
with my friend, Mike Smith.

Actually, I would love to have
him on this podcast at some point.

Cause he, he also is, working
in the neurodivergent space.

Manashi my friend Alpa, my
friend Denise, and then Amy Cox.

These are people that I really love and I
love trying to build relationships with.

It's just a small
smattering of people, but.

Yeah.

Do you have a few that
you want to shout out

Alison: You are, you are
atoning for your misdeeds.

And I love it.

Um,

Matt: I've got the whip.

Alison: I So I'll steal a
couple off of your list.

Chris and Amy, for sure are two
people that I love, talking to.

Our, our mutual friend, Lora.

Riz.

I owe her a phone call.

She called me like a week ago.

And I love talking to her.

And my, my friend Taryn, who lives
in Italy, who thankfully, now I

know because of this, she sees me.

Matt: She sees you.

Yeah.

Alison: I will say, some of my
good friends who do do a really

good job of, reeling me back in.

So not only am I sorry,
but also thank you.

Uh, Our good friend, Genna Cohen is
real good at putting something in the

mail for me which always makes me feel
really special or just sending me like

a, Hey, miss you hope you're good text.

My friend Callie who lives here in
Charlotte with me, she let me know

that she has started listening to this
podcast and she feels like she's gotten

to know me even better because of it.

But I know that sometimes I
do a really poor job of, being

inclusive and reaching out.

And she always does a great job of
hey, whatchya doin, want to hang out.

Yeah.

Oh man, this is cathartic,

Matt: Yeah, it feels good, right?

It feels good.

And there's so many more.

Alison: I was just about to say
that there's, this is not an

exhaustive list by, by any means,

Matt: No, it's not.

And it's, it's so interesting.

I have.

one thing that, that has been
helpful to me recently, but it

involves more work on their side too.

So part of this particular,
relationship failure mechanic is.

People with ADHD, have a hard time
being on the telephone as well.

know if this is it's not for everybody.

Especially for like cold calls,
like calling to get things done.

That's very difficult, But I
think you hit on it earlier.

The guilt factor of, okay.

I only have, I have this block of time,
but if I get into this conversation,

we're going to have so much to catch
up on then I don't have time for Uh,

you know, hearing all these things.

Lalalalala.

So there are a few people that
I've tried to implement this

thing that we call a Fiver.

Where we know that this is a problem,
the possibility of the longer that you

don't communicate, the more that is to
say, therefore, the more stress there

is to fill time and so on and so forth.

So.

Uh, With the Fiver, you talk more, but
you, I have literally set a time timer

and sometimes it's like 15 but I have.

You know, My friend, Nate.

He'll just he'll send me a text fiver?

Question mark.

And when I can do this, I will
set at the time timer, and then he

understands that it's not a personal
thing for me to say, okay, I got to go.

And right.

So he'll often call me when he's picking
up his son, for example, and that's great.

I know that my mother likes to talk a lot
and we always have things to talk about.

So I call her during dinner
or during a walk, right.

Because I can't control the
time and I don't understand the

time or I'm not aware of it.

To put boundaries to the
conversation is always helpful.

So I would love to implement the
Fiver for most of these friends,

you know, I really, really would.

I think it would take the pressure off.

Alison: was this...

where did you get this idea from?

I love it.

A whole, whole lot.

Matt: I want to say that
Nate and I came up with it.

I don't, I don't remember
the origin story of it.

I don't want to take credit
where credit isn't due, but.

Uh, I don't.

I think

Alison: It feels like an MB NB thing.

Matt: Yeah, it just kind
of does kind of does.

And it really helps.

And I've got one more.

So there is an app called Marco Polo.

It is visual voicemail, right?

And of course the only people that I
actually share Marco Polo with are actors.

Because actors have no problem.

No problem.

No problem whatsoever.

putting a camera on
themselves and talking.

Uh, But Marco Polo is great
because I feel close to them.

I can leave a message.

They can check it
anytime they want or not.

It has really helped.

Like my friend Matt is about to
go off on tour for a show for a

year or more, and, yeah, it works.

It, of course, it's not, as it's
not sharing a pizza, it's not, even

it's not even a phone call, but when
you need Uh, to feel more connected.

It really helps the ADHD brain.

Because I could leave him that
message at two in the morning or

eight in the morning or whenever.

An asynchronous conversation, if you will.

Uh, Those are my two that I'm
kind of leaning into to try

to make this issue better.

Do you have any tips?

Tricks?

Alison: I wish I did.

So first of all, I love
the Fiver and, and.

there's both the, okay, you're going
to get onto the phone with somebody and

you're going to have to spend the first
few minutes apologizing and or justifying

how you've been spending your time.

And a lot of that, I will
readily admit is head trash.

A lot of times I will get on the phone
with somebody and they're not mad at me.

This is perceived, made up anger fully
from my own anxiety and nowhere else.

But one thing I have noticed.

When the workday is over, a lot of
times, I just want to disconnect and

I don't want to talk to anybody else.

That wasn't always the case for me when
I worked different jobs that didn't

engage as much of my brain for as much
of the day, I would be a little bit

more open to I'm going to get off work
and I'm going to go do activities.

And I'm not complaining about
the amount of work either.

It's just it's where I
currently am in life.

But I have noticed as a result though,
I get done with work and I might know,

oh, I want to catch up with somebody,
but I don't want to talk for two

hours because I value my me time now.

And I know I want to get to cooking
dinner and, watching some Critical

Role or building a new character or
whatever, like me things I need to do.

So I love the idea of a Fiver
because then that kind of gives

a definitive beginning and end.

Um, Without you having to make up the,
well, let me let you go type of thing.

So I think I want to start the Fiver.

Matt: Try it out!

Alison: That's

Matt: And it doesn't have
to be a Fiver of course.

It could be a Ten-er.

Whatever you want it to be, but I, it has.

it has really helped, I think, Especially
if you're diligent about it and.

Alison: Yeah.

Matt: Um, yeah.

Alison: That's the kicker right there
is I am a natural born procrastinator.

And so there are a lot of things that
I make more difficult just because

the amount of time I allow to pass by.

Matt: Yeah.

Yeah.

Alison: Like a lot of these friends, by
the time I do get to hang out or talk

to them, there's just a lot to download.

Even with my best friend, Lori.

She lives in Atlanta.

We try and see each
other as often as we can.

She's much better about
calling me than I am about her.

And so sometimes there's weeks where
we'll talk a couple of times a week.

Other times it's maybe
once a month or even less.

And when we have those times,
it's like, we now have to

schedule a two hour marathon.

Whereas if I would just call her.

Matt: Yeah.

Alison: Once a week, it's
like, what's going on with you?

Matt: I know, and it is.

Alison: Oh, man, Matt, you broke my brain.

Matt: I broke your brain, but I, but I.

That's the other thing, I feel like
if we could have these kinds of

conversations with our friends and
instead we're having a podcast about it.

If we can have these legitimate
conversations with our friends and

just say, Hey, so this is actually
just the way that my brain works.

I know that you're not
actually angry with me.

That my procrastinating to spend time
with myself has nothing to do with you

and how much I want to catch up with you.

It's just what the brain does.

And I.

But I think if we could have these
conversations and say, could you

help us too, like, would you be
interested in starting a Fiver with me?

Alison: It's funny though,
because when you asked me, do

you have any tips and tricks?

I almost said, is this podcast,
not one, like this journey of self

discovery we're on together, that
we then verbalize into a microphone

and our friends hear and say, oh,

Matt: Yeah.

Alison: why they do that.

Matt: Oh,

Alison: I guess that's maybe
what I need to work on.

It's funny for as impulsive as I can be,
that's like the one place that I have

impulse control that maybe I shouldn't.

Matt: Yeah.

Alison: I should act on those impulses.

Somebody comes into my brain.

I should send them a text and
say, Hey, thinking about you.

Matt: It's tough because we're
always doing this dance right.

Of, oh, my gosh.

I've completely overextended myself.

I need to get better at overextending.

Okay.

So I won't do this.

Okay.

I need to, I need to say no to this.

I need to have some me time.

Okay.

I've got me time.

But.

No matter how much you love them.

Calling someone is.

It has to go on a task list.

It has to go on a calendar.

Like I have to, I've actually sent
friends, a booking calendar link.

And I apologize profusely
every single time.

And I try to make that particular
calendar as friendly as possible.

And it just says friend time with Matt,
They still have to like book a time,

which is the most impersonal, creepy
thing of the, of the 21st century, but.

It works.

Alison: Whatever it takes.

Get those calendars blocked
and make that time for them.

Matt: So true.

Yeah, As much as we love spontaneity.

And we, as much as we love, Uh, new
things I do know that routine is

so much better for me and my brain.

I know that it is.

I fight it.

Nonstop.

I will fight it.

And if anything gets in
the way of that routine.

It can just crash and burn.

Are there any other things that
object permanence affect you?

Alison: Yeah, every, literally
every part of my life.

I have had to rearrange my refrigerator
because I buy food and I forget.

There's a lot of like use the,
um, produce drawers for your

condiments, because you're always
going to go find your condiments.

But you're not going to remember
to go find the fruits and veggies.

So I've had to rearrange my refrigerator.

So that way the thing I need to
be eating is front and center.

So I can't conveniently forget about it.

Matt: No more wilted cabbage.

Alison: No more wilted spinach.

Um, and then like, when we first
are talking about this topic,

you were like, can this relate
to D&D to which I say absolutely.

Like I am the queen of getting so
I use a digital character sheet.

I use D&D Beyond for any
fellow D&D nerds listening.

And so it's organized, there's
a lot of information about your

characters, especially as you level up.

And so everything's
separated into different tabs.

I tend to live between my actions and my
spell tabs and forget to dive into like

my features and traits and, descriptions
and backstories and even inventory.

And so I might have the most bomb
object in the world at my disposal.

Or some kind of really cool feature that
I'm constantly forgetting to use always.

Cause I don't think to dive into the
inner workings of my character sheet and

Matt: you.

I think you literally just mentioned
this in a game that we played this week.

Didn't you get this?

There was like something that would
have changed the entire game if you had

Alison: so.

It was a one-shot that we did at
Castle Birthday, where we could

not get past these ginormous
frogs and I was playing a firbolg.

Matt: Yeah.

Alison: And I could have spoken with the
frogs, had this innate magic born in me.

Matt: Yes.

Alison: That I could have just
communicated with them and ask

them to move and let them know
that we no harm would come to them.

If they, got out of our way.

And instead we brutally murdered them,
which is, you know, the point of the game.

So it's fine.

Matt: Brutal.

It was brutal.

It was brutal.

Wow.

Alison: I could've just talked to them.

If I had gone to my features and traits.

And just said, hey move.

Matt: You have changed my life, my
virtual tabletop role-playing life.

When you said that you love combat.

And you're spending all this time that I.

that I see you looking elsewhere.

You're looking at this at this just
mentioned D&D Beyond character sheet.

And you're, you're hunting through tabs
that I've just, now that I see now, when

I see you do that, I'm like, oh yeah,
she's just dealing with object permanence.

yeah, I'm a much happier person now.

Alison: All this time you thought
I was checking my email and I

was just going through my spells.

But see that's the thing is
that I am staring, but I'm

only looking at the spells tab.

I am ignoring four other helpful

Matt: I know.

I know.

Alison: So there was a time when
we were first playing D&D in the

very early, early days of 2020.

My entire monitor, my second
monitor was covered in sticky

notes, reminding me to do things.

Like, don't forget you have
this item and don't forget that,

you added this spell last time.

Cause otherwise I would
just completely forget

Matt: But no, no longer?

Alison: Well, most of them have fallen off
or, and we don't play that game anymore.

But I should probably start
doing it for our games now.

Matt: That's a great idea.

That is a great idea.

Alison: Sticky notes, man,
that a tip I will drop on you.

Sticky notes have always been my friend.

Matt: You know, You can't,
leave them too long, right?

Because if you leave them too long,
then they become permanent as well.

Therefore they blend in and
you don't ever read them again.

Right?

Alison: Yeah.

Matt: So it is.

but you are totally right.

And I always forget about post-it notes.

And they do work.

Alison: One on my monitor still right now.

Matt: Yeah.

Alison: It says, get off autopilot.

Be here now.

Matt: Ooh.

Alison: That was the working
of a therapy session.

And so I wrote that down as a reminder
to myself, to live in the present.

Instead of the past or the future.

So.

Matt: I love that.

Similarly, I am trying.

Because, I mean, I think that is.

That is what the object permanence is.

Is that, the issue here is
that we have put this concept

in a box and shuttled it away.

Right.

So.

The sticky notes, kind of
bring it back to the forefront.

But if they're there too long,
then they could become part of it.

So I'm currently working on a software
solution of sticky notes to try to

find ways to present goals for the next
season or or friends that I have to

Marco Polo have a Fiver with And that is
really tough for me because I'm always

trying to find the thing that will help.

I don't think there will
be a perfect thing, but.

The problem with, with pen and paper is
that you can't search it, but it is so

good to write things down and to really...

Alison: yeah.

Matt: Keep writing things down.

So it's just trying to find that balance
of the right tool for the right thing.

Um, so that's, that's what actually,
what I was working on today was.

Is there something that I can
trigger at the end of the day?

That says.

Think about this and maybe it could even
have sort of a, like a randomness to it.

Just, so I don't see it
and go, oh, ignore it.

Right.

Like If something important
comes at me at 5:30 and I'm

like, okay, great, great, great.

I really try to pay attention to
it and then it goes, and the next

day might be something different.

I don't know that it works, but.

Alison: Yeah.

Matt: I don't know, don't work.

Alison: I think you're onto something
with the randomness, though.

I like, I know I've many, many times
I've put in my calendar at the end

of the day: please go exercise.

And it's because it's repetitive, I
just, it's like the alarm that you snooze

Matt: Snooze

Alison: I do.

I wonder what the...

randomizer.

I'm very interested in beta testing this
with you, Matt, whatever you come up with.

I need it too.

Matt: I will keep you posted

Alison: Excellent.

You will keep me post-it note.

Matt: I will keep you post-it note.

Um, but yeah, It is.

As a dungeon master I feel, like my
whole world is what you just said

about just the character sheet.

The information is right there.

And yet.

Sometimes I just can't pull it up.

Sometimes I will have something planned,
like actually worked out and thought

out like names or monster stats.

And at the moment I will just
forget that I did that work

and I'll invent it all again.

Uh, Except improvised this
time and therefore sloppy.

You know, that's frustrating.

It's frustrating.

It's frustrating as hell, yo.

Alison: We just have to remember.

Own the space take the beat.

forcing us to go faster.

I always feel like I've got to
like, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

But.

Nobody's rushing me.

We are not rushing you, Matt.

Take your time.

Matt: And that reminds me of one more....

permanence that is a problem for me.

I don't know if we talked about
this, but I constantly hurt myself.

Alison: Yup.

That's

Matt: That's object permanence.

Isn't it?

Because I am.

I am like either something has moved or
something is in the way or a chair is

there, or most importantly, I'm going too
fast because I'm I've already experienced

getting around this chair a billion times.

So it doesn't matter.

And if I don't take the time
to gauge, then I'll just stub

that toe over and over and over.

Alison: Yeah.

You're in your mind, you're already
where you were going without ever

actually having gotten there physically.

Matt: Yeah.

We just need Dimension Doors.

Ready to just jump through them.

Just jump through them..

Alison: I think you're...

let's Misty Step first,
then Dimension Door.

We gotta

Matt: yeah.

Yeah, we'll work our way
up to Dimension Door.

Yeah, you're right.

Misty Step.

That's good enough.

That's good enough.

well, I love it.

Well, I hope Alison, that, that when
we make this public, it's like an

apology to our friends that miss us.

And were just waiting by the phone slash
texts slash email slash Marco Polo.

And just why have they
not communicated with me?

So maybe now, you know that we
still love you very much and we

can't wait to talk to you again.

We just have to.

Alison: I guess we'll know how well this
episode lands based on the number of

friend requests we get on Marco Polo.

Sometime in the next seven days.

Matt: Yeah, I'm into it.

I'll Polo with all y 'all.

Alison: Oh All y'all.

Let's Polo.

Matt: Well, I just opened that up.

I don't know about that.

That's scary.

I just got scared and even
saying it, I got scared.

Alison: That's how I Matt
stopped Marco Polo-ing.

You overwhelmed yourself, my friend.

Matt: sure as hell did.

I did it myself as usual.

Well, Alison.

I loved this topic
and, this was a good one.

Thanks for hitting the homerun on this.

Alison: Thanks for being wide
awake at 3:00 AM last week.

Matt: Yeah, thanks for being awake.

Thanks to your friend in Italy.

I feel like this is just the beginning
of this, conversations like this though.

Alison: Thanks, Matt!

Matt: Thanks, Alison.

Thanks for being on podcast With me.

Alison: Thanks for inviting
me onto your podcast,