Alison: Bananas.

Go, go bananas.

Matt: Go bananas.

Go, go bananas.

Hi Alison.

Alison: Hi, Matt.

Matt: How are you?

Alison: Great.

I didn't, I didn't do
an outline for today.

Matt: You didn't do an outline for wait.

Well, what?

Alison: I know.

Matt: What does that mean?

Alison: I guess it means we're wingin' it.

Interestingly enough, we don't
have an outline today, yet I

feel more prepared than normal
be well, because we had homework.

Matt: We had homework gave
each other homework today.

Yeah.

Alison: So I guess homework
supersedes outline.

Matt: Yeah.

Uh huh.

That works.

That works.

Alison: You don't sound at all convinced.

Matt: I don't know anything.

Okay.

Today we're gonna deviate a
little bit from the topics that

we normally bring on ADHd20.

We think it's gonna be fun because,
when we say D&D of course, we mean

D&D .When we say ADHD, of course, we
mean ADHD, but sometimes there's room

in there for all manner of nerdery.

And one, one just precious
corner of the multiverse that a

lot of people like to talk about.

And we like to talk about, uh,
is television, movies, that

kind of like world of fun.

And, um, we're thinking that every
once in a while we might just like

pick a TV show or a movie and see
how much ADHD coding is found within

that movie or television show.

And by coding, what I mean is when, when
something is coding, that means like

you're watching it and you're like, Ooh,
Ooh, that there's an underlying message

there that the writers, actors, directors
are trying to say, they're trying to

point out without actually saying it.

Right.

It's coded.

And so, um, uh, for example, a very recent
example of something that I saw that

I was like, Ooh, Miss Marvel has ADHD.

And sure enough, it turns out that Kamala
Kahn does not officially have ADHD in

in the world of Marvel comics, but
the director specifically made choices

that said this kid, this kid has ADHD.

Which I thought was super fun.

Super cool.

Interesting.

It's all speculation.

We don't know anything about anything.

We don't know anything about anything.

So it's just, it's just us just like, Hmm.

Is this happening?

Is It's also not like we're trying
to make everybody have ADHD.

We're not.

We promise though, you know,

Alison: No, we're pretty exclusive
about our, our cool kids club.

We don't, we don't, we don't want

Matt: want them the sweaty masses.

Yeah.

Alison: No new friends.

was excellent, excellent
explanation of coding.

Um,

Matt: And I do promise everybody, like,
it's I get really, um, maybe overly

sensitive about this, but I really
do want everyone to know that I'm

not trying to see, ADD in everything.

It really is specific.

It's a thing.

And I think, I think that, uh, in
some ways it, it also helps, like

if it, if it's something that you
live with and you see someone on

screen that you can really relate to.

So today's example, today's TV choice
that we're gonna go with, that we're

gonna discuss for fun, began in 1997.

And I can tell you from experience
in 1997, people didn't really talk

about ADD as much as they do now.

Maybe a little bit more than they did when
I was in high school, but, we're entering

the world of Buffy the Vampire Slayer,

Alison: Yeah.

Matt: on today's ADHd20.

I have seen all of Buffy and,
and, and Alison recently has

we figured why not start there?

And people love it and it's fun.

And, and Anna's already
got the guitar riff

Alison: Yep.

Um, I watched Buffy because
of one Matthew Bivins.

It, it was you and Genna Cohen.

The year was 2019.

We were living on a tour bus
and had nothing else to do.

So we said let's watch Buffy.

Uh,

Matt: It was, it was tough for you.

It's a tough sell.

Alison: It was tough sell because I
was afraid that it would scare me.

And then we watched the first
episode and I, I laughed a lot.

So then I knew it was gonna be okay.

There really was only one episode
that stood out in my brain as

scary, which was Hush, of course.

Matt: That is terrifying.

There's a few.

I'm not, I'm not saying it's
not scary completely, but.

Alison: There were parts of my
Buffy watching as an adult that

were massively entertaining.

Wonderful.

And there were parts that were, Hmm.

Really didn't like seasons 4 through 6.

Matt: Painful.

I know we did warn you.

We warned you.

It is not, it is not the
most consistent show.

However, I still hold that there
are episodes in this TV program,

especially for its age, you know,
I think they were groundbreaking.

Absolutely.

Just completely groundbreaking, examples
of television that probably then

influenced television of all genres,
horror, non-horror, romance, teen, comedy.

Alison: Well, you know what
we have to do first, Matt,

Matt: Yes we do.

Alison: Before, before we get
into the real topic at hand, we've

gotta, we gotta roll some dice.

Do you wanna do a D 20 roll off to find
out which one of us is gonna ask first?

Matt: Oh, just keep rolling.

Rolling.

Rolling.

Rolling.

Alison: I wanna roll

Matt: Rolling.

Rolling.

Rolling.

Alison: You're probably
gonna be going first.

Matt: Yeah, I got a 16

Alison: I got three.

So.

Matt: dang.

Alison: Mattie B what'd
you roll on your beautiful,

Matt: All

Alison: your D 100

Matt: I rolled dun dun dun number nine.

Number

Alison: Number nine.

Matt: Nine.

Alison: This is, this
is fitting in perfect.

Do any of your D&D characters and I'll
let you as the DM choose any of the

NPCs that you pilot as well have ADHD.

And why?

Matt: What?

Oh,

Alison: Hit 'em with a
stump-town right out of the

Matt: Mm-hmm I'm going to say, that
I didn't, I haven't thought about

this, but it's very possible that
my character, um, that is a fairy.

She lives in the land of
Fey and sometimes pops out.

she's very studious.

Her name is Rosie but here's the
thing is that she really loves magic.

She loves studying magic and that's
never, that is never been something

that she's, she's had a problem doing.

Like it's a endlessly
interesting thing to her.

And that's one thing to remember,
you know, ADHD is not about

just, I can't do things ever.

Some things you do extremely well, if
you love them and you want to do them.

And I think for Rosie, Um, she's lucked
out because magic and exploring the world

and, learning about other people has
been something that she's really loved.

But I would guess that if, when she has to
do stuff that she doesn't want to do, like

clean her room or , or, you know, study
science and mathematics, just guessing.

Yeah.

She's probably not that great.

I would say Rosie, that's
my, that's my vote.

Alison: That tracks,
that absolutely tracks.

She's also a

Matt: Rosie.

Yes.

Alison: with that's usual,

Matt: Rosie.

I would say Rosie is in some ways,
at this point in my very small player

character world is probably, uh, probably
the player that's the most like me.

She's a lot more millennial, a
lot more millennial than but I.

I think there's a lot in Rosie
that, that I, that I kin too.

Alison: I

Matt: Yeah.

So that's mine.

How about, do you, what'd you roll?

Alison: Excellent.

I rolled a 16, please.

No, that's a lie.

You rolled a 16.

I rolled a 46 just.

Had that had that six,

Matt: Ooh, interesting.

Gosh, this is great.

This is a, this is a table that
was a little bit crowdsourced.

Uh, and also a lot of it
came out of your brain.

This is really nice.

I, I really like these.

Today's question for you, Alison.

What, what is your phone's lock screen?

Alison: Uh, my phone's lock screen changes
every single day because I have ADHD.

And I don't like to look at
the same thing for too long.

Um, so because I am friends with you, I,
you know, learn all about automations.

And so I, uh, am a big fan of an
artist named Morgan Harper Nichols.

Uh, and she has a very,
very beautiful app.

If you do not follow her on social media,
you should cuz she does these watercolors

with just these very inspirational
thoughts, quips, quotes, and otherwise.

So every single day I
get like a daily message.

Um, and so all those I like, I save
to a special little folder and then I

have the folder tied to an automation.

That at sunrise, every morning, changes
my lock screen to something new.

And then I get to wake
up and feel empowered.

Um, and that's like my
message for the day.

And today says not in a hurry.

Matt: Uh,

Alison: I am taking my time
and blooming at my own pace.

Matt: That's great.

Alison: A little, a little peak
inside of my brain for you.

Matt: Bang, bang.

Alison: Well, now that,
that that's out of the way.

So for this episode today, Matt
and I did something that I'm, I

know I'm no fan of, I'm just gonna
guess you probably aren't either.

We gave ourselves homework.

Matt: I don't usually like homework,
but this wasn't too hard to do.

Alison: Yeah.

Our homework was like pick a few
episodes of Buffy and just get

reacquainted with some mannerisms.

Uh, some of our favorite characters
in planning this episode, we both

very quickly, very readily agreed on
one character that we know has ADHD.

Um, and we were just gonna kind
of go and look for some specific

examples and then see kind of who
else tickled our ADHD fan fancy.

That

Matt: Mm-hmm I dipped, I dipped a little
bit into other neuro divergent, um,

Alison: Oh,

Matt: uh, brains types as well.

Alison: I noticed, I noticed where I
noticed it, but I like kept just telling

myself, like, don't go down those
rabbit holes, cuz then suddenly you're

gonna not come with the assignment.

And you're gonna have like decided
who is on the autism spectrum and

who is suffering some kind of PTSD
or narcissism disorder or otherwise.

But I do have thoughts naturally surprise.

Matt: Yay.

Um,

Alison: Um, So what, in, in
prepping for this, can I ask

you what episodes you watched?

Matt: Yes.

Uh, so we did give each other this
homework just a couple of days ago,

so, um, I didn't have a ton of time.

But what I wanted to do is I know
that the characters evolved over

the years and also we're talking
about six seasons—or it seven?

Seven seasons.

And so, you know, we're, you know,
that's a lot and I know that actors

change ideas and so on and so forth.

But I wanted to say like from
the minute that you meet these

characters, were my theories correct?

And they were, I think, I think
instantly they were correct.

So I went with episode number one,
season one, first out of the gate.

Yeah.

Which is not, you know, the first
season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer,

for those of you who haven't
watched it, isn't the best one.

Alison: It's cinematic brilliance.

What are you talking about?

Matt: It's not, it's difficult.

Uh, you know, there's many people who
say, oh, you can just start at season two.

You'd be okay.

But I don't know.

There's like, there's just a delightful
awkwardness to the first, you know,

30, 40 minutes of Buffy number one
that is like, you know, you meet

these characters for the first time.

And they are just, BOING!

Like just cliche, like instantly, you
know, which is Joss Whedon's schtick.

And then that's the beauty of
what he does is like, he'll, he'll

paint a picture and then he'll say,
but these people have, you know,

Alison: Mm-hmm

Matt: More, uh, more varied colors.

So I watched number one and then, kind of
went down a thread of other characters,

cuz there was one character that I
thought, well, maybe, maybe she does.

And it, this is sort of the other neuro
divergent idea that I had, which I think

would be interesting to talk about too.

I mean, look, we're already deviating
from D&D we might as well, you know,

take a step out of ADHD as well.

And I dipped into a scene or two
of The Body, which I think still

is my favorite episode of Buffy.

Um, that's always one that I, when
I'm talking about groundbreaking

TV, just to me, that's just one of
the, so anyway, those are my two,

but we can go, go into them more.

How about you?

Alison: I started with episode one
just for a little bit, just cause

I do love kind of the assembling
of the Scoobs and otherwise and

meeting Giles for the first time.

Of course.

So I watched, um, some of my
personal favorite episodes from

season one and two, which were The
Pack, The Puppet and Halloween.

Um,

Matt: Dang.

Strong.

Okay.

Alison: I specifically watched
The Pack and Halloween, cuz I feel

like those are very strong Xander
performances and I knew that we

were gonna talk about Xander a lot.

Matt: Yeah.

Alison: With this.

Matt: Spoiler alert.

It's gonna be about Xander, everybody.

Come on,

Alison: Da-dah!

Matt: But yeah, it's, it's so interesting.

I'll start off by saying, I don't, I don't
know if there's an episode where they

even mention ADHD or anything like it.

Alison: Those weren't
part of the vernacular of

Matt: It just really wasn't

Alison: Early aughts..

It wasn't the thing we were talking about.

Matt: Yeah.

And, and I think as people that are older.

And, and we remember a time where
that wasn't really part of any kind

of, you know, really most disability.

I mean, geez, watch Glee.

And that was 2010 and just prepare
to sob because it is so depressing

how they treat a kid in a wheelchair.

Anyway.

But yeah, you didn't, you didn't
bandy about words like autism or

Asperger's or ADD you were just kind of.

Those people are weird or those people are
wacky or those people talk too much, or

those people hurt themselves or whatever.

And, and that's also interesting, right?

In other words, what I'm saying
is I know that the directors and

actors probably did not bring any
of this into a show of that age.

Right.

1997.

I know that they probably did not.

However, it's funny how I am drawn
to the characters, that have the

most have traits that are, that are
most like mine too, which is fun.

Like I understood, I understood Xander.

Even watching it for the first time.

And so I think that's really fun.

Alison: I, yeah, I definitely watching
it was immediately drawn to Xander.

And I think you can go one of two ways
and you hit on this a few weeks ago

when we were talking about Friends
as the reason that you don't really

care for Ross is because reminds
you of maybe some of your less than

Matt: The less interesting parts of me.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Alison: And, and I, I know that too,
when I, when I meet somebody who

is too similar to me, especially
the not great sides of myself.

I tend to not like that person at all.

They annoy me.

And I'm unconsciously, subconsciously
or otherwise, part of the problem

is that I know like those are my
toxic traits just out on display.

And I don't dig that.

So interestingly enough, and you're
either gonna love or hate this.

Um, one of the characters that I would
like to bring forward for discussion

is your girl and not mine, Cordelia.

Matt: Ooh, let's do it.

Alison: And so, so just everybody
knows my journey with Buffy.

I, I did not like Cordelia
out of the gate and I.

I tried with Angel, you guys.

I really, really did,
but I couldn't do it.

And so everybody's like, oh, Cordie's
redemption arc comes in Angel.

If you could watch that,
you might feel differently.

I'm not going to, so I don't,
I just hate Cordy, uh, much

to Matt and Fitz's chagrin.

No, it's a big it's.

It's a no for me.

So I'm watching it through that
lens of, I don't like Cordy.

And then like suddenly I heard your
voice talking about Ross, like are

the reasons I don't like Cordelia
things that are too similar to me.

And then I thought about one of my
potentially most toxic traits when

it comes to my own ADHD or general
personality, where does one end,

and the other begin is masking.

And that's something that has become
kind of a hot term like coding and

otherwise, when we talk about all

Matt: Tell me about masking.

Alison: Uh, your ability or inability
to cover up, what's really going

on by playing a certain part.

Um, and so a lot of people might not
actually know what's going on with you.

And I'm sure that there's a
far better, far more scientific

explanation of it than that.

But oftentimes it's not conscious,
it's not somebody wakes up and says,

I'm going to play a jester today.

You know, they, they just
get so good at just pushing

I

Matt: wish they would though.

Alison: Wouldn't that be

Matt: Mm-hmm

Alison: Shall be a bard.

Um, uh, Fitz has reminded me, I did
name one of my D&D weapons Cordelia

take from that what you will.

See this also ties back into D&D we
will never get fully away from it.

Um,

Matt: not sorry.

Alison: But I see, I, I realize now
because, and so you often think of

the ones that are perceived as the
very strong types who are really

some kind of broken inside as the
ones who are experts at masking.

Um, and so they tend to have
this certain presence about them.

And then, you know, the ones who really
get to know them know that that's not

the true Cordy, Alison or otherwise.

Matt: Love

Alison: You have, have you have
caught me masking in the past.

Um, and we have talked about that.

And so I wrote in, in big, like in my
notes, IS THAT WHY I DON'T LIKE CORDELIA?

Matt: Oh,

Alison: Or is it that she's
actually the worst, like, is,

is that my problem with her?

Um,

Matt: Drama.

Alison: and where I'm picking up on the
potential for ADHD is at the beginning

of The Puppet Show, we, the episode opens
with the auditions for the talent show

that Giles has been roped into producing.

And, uh, Cordy is trying to audition with
Whitney Houston's The Greatest Love of

All, and she's doing a piss poor job.

And I'm wondering if maybe her ADHD
kept her from practicing or getting to

her voice lessons or things like that.

And also, she kind of then has this
very snide, you know, reaction to,

um, the way she's treated about like,
okay, that that's enough enough, which

makes me think of myself when, if I'm
not immediately good at something,

I get really hateful about it.

Matt: You do.

Alison: So.

Matt: Interesting.

Okay.

Where do we, where do we want to start?

Do we wanna go in some kind of order?

What if we started the first episode?

What if we just start
like, um, Buffy number one.

We meet Buffy.

She, she has moved from LA because
you don't really have to have

seen the movie, but it follows
events that happened in the movie.

Basically Buffy burned down her
school kind of thing accidentally.

Well, whoops, because she is a Slayer
and she's The Chosen One and she,

but she's moved in this new place,
Sunnydale and, wants a whole new life.

Does not want to be a Slayer, does
not want to vanquish vampires just

wants to be a normal high school teen.

Which of course in the first episode
immediately, it's impossible.

There's no way.

She is The Chosen One that
she cannot shirk her duties.

And she tries many, many, many
times in the first season.

It's basically just like, I quit.

I quit.

I quit.

I quit.

So anyway, we meet the main character and
, she goes to school and she's dreading it a

little bit understandably she's, you know,
she's had some tough times at schools.

So she goes in and, and she's like
a cute blonde girl from the late

nineties, which means, you know, she
makeup and blonde hair and mini skirt

and, you know, cheerleader-y right.

And so there's like all of this, like
record scratching of, uh, you know,

boys that are like, who's the new
girl, you know, all of this stuff.

Where is her social standing
gonna, you know, spin out,

right?

Alison: That's the first thing that
happens is that Cordy schools her on who

is, who is acceptable to talk to, cuz
Cordy is trying to figure out like, does

she want to be friends with a new girl?

And if she does, she's gotta make sure
that she doesn't go for the Willows.

Matt: Yes.

Right, right.

But, and before that though, it's like
really, truly in the first five minutes

we meet Xander and, and he is this dufus.

I mean, he is a dufus, like
he's a, he's a handsome kid.

But he's on a skateboard and he's
not aware of his surroundings.

He thinks it's okay to skateboard through
like an enormous crowd full of people.

And so in the first few minutes
that we meet him he's like

trying to get through this crowd.

He sees Buffy, he's like WOOGAH WOOGAH!

And he slams into stairs and
he like knocks himself down.

There's like a lack of awareness there.

That's very, you know, clumsy as hell.

So he gets up, he recovers
from that and he's just kind

of like just, just focused on.

And then, then you meet Willow a good
friend of his and their conversation

in, in this first few minutes is, Hey,
Willow, can, can we meet this afternoon?

Can you help me with, you know,
I'm having problems with the math.

Right.

And she says, what part of the
math he's like the math, right?

Because he can't focus on math
cuz he can't, he can't do it.

Cuz he's too busy.

I don't know.

His favorite thing is skating.

I don't know what his
favorite thing is yet.

We don't know that yet, but
he's, he's like just a goof.

He runs into Buffy literally.

She drops something and he kind of
turns around and he tries to help,

her pick things up and he can't speak
and he can't finish his sentences

and he says the wrong things.

And I know that they're playing it
as, as this guy has a crush on this

girl instantly, like he's nervous.

I get it.

And that is.

That is true, but there's so many
different versions of that, But his

specifically was all these ADD things,
all these things that like, when you

are in this heightened state, your
brain just starts boiling and you just,

Alison: You

Matt: can't, Out.

You can't speak, you can't do it.

Um, his friend, Jesse actually calls
him a bibbling idiot, but he's also

at the same time he's got this, like,
he's got this ease and this charm

he's got this, he's really charming.

And when he can kind of calm down,
he's really very funny, you know?

So he is got all these different
pieces going on at the same time.

And I just...

you know, I was like, Xander
man, Xander's the guy.

Alison: Xander's the guy.

My first note on him is non specifically
Xander often has a hard time expressing

himself or saying what he means.

It's like the words in his head don't sync
with what he's actually trying to say.

Matt: Yep.

Mm-hmm

Alison: I would call him affable
at best and a bibbling idiot.

More normally.

In The Pack um, there is a joke made
about, uh, Xander is habitually late.

Matt: Mmm.

Alison: It's an
expectation that they have.

Um, let's see, what else.

He's the most susceptible
to mixing things up.

He's constantly trying to find his place.

So we're, we see him get into all of
these hijinks, especially in the first

two seasons, cuz he's just so desperately
looking where am I gonna fit in?

What am I gonna do
where don't I stand out?

Um, which I think can sometimes be a very
ADHD trait of like, this is the thing.

Maybe this goes back to masking.

Like I don't want this to be the thing
about me that I don't wanna be an idiot.

I don't want people to know
me as the person who talks

faster than they can think.

And so as a result, you're
trying to find some other label.

So you're literally trying on
other tropes, archetypes whatever.

Matt: Uh huh.

Alison: Um, to get to that.

And I even wrote this resonates
with me as someone who spent a

lot of time masking to fit in.

I noted that the Scoobs have to
stay on his case to get stuff done.

He's the one that they're
constantly having to circle back to.

And are you gonna be here at this time?

Are you gonna do this?

Are you sure?

Can you, you know, everybody else
tends to kind of get their marching

orders and, and go off to do them.

And it's always, Xander is the
one we think is gonna fuck up.

Matt: Yes.

Alison: Always.

Matt: I know.

And it's it.

Am I, am I wrong in saying that it's
usually like at, at the last minute

too, he's always kind of like just
coming in, rushing in late last minute.

Not getting the job done
until the last minute or not

doing it, not getting it done.

Alison: The other thing I, so I mentioned
that maybe this is, you can tell me

if I'm digging too deep on this one,
but in the, in the Halloween episode...

Sometimes Xander hyper fixates
on something to an extreme level.

So that it's overdone.

There were three or four Halloween
episodes, but in the very first one,

that's the one where they all fall
under that spell that turns them

into whatever they're dressed up as,
and Xander comes into Buffy's house,

he's dressed as an army commander.

So he's in full fatigues and he comes
into her house, spewing, military tactics,

like, like, I mean, just rolling off
of his tongue in a way we've never seen

Xander be able to do before, probably
from all the video games he played.

This is a boy of the nineties after all.

Um, but I just think it's funny.

It's overdone to a point that I'm looking
at it as being coded for a hyper fixation.

And you notice that whenever Xander
gets into trouble, like, he is

able to always get so deep into the
knowledge of whatever has befallen him.

It's like that, that information
was somewhere in the back of his

head, all along, cuz he's able to
tap into it a little bit too easily.

So it's like that question we got
on the d100 table a couple weeks ago

where it was, what's something that
you have gone down such a rabbit

hole on, you know, researching that
you've become an accidental expert.

I feel like if you know, Google had
been fully available to Xander in

97, the way it is to us today on a
smartphone, like he, there would be

random things that he would just pop off.

I just, I feel like that's
Xander on a core level.

Matt: No, I'm in I'm into that.

I'm into that.

Yeah.

Alison: I wrote somewhere deep
inside, there's some layer of

his sweet little neuro divergent
brain, just ready to unleash that

level of chaos and specificity.

I took my assignment really,
really seriously you guys.

Matt: You did, but that is great.

Uh, yes.

Alison: I'm just thinking of this.

It would also explain if, if both
Xander and Cordelia are ADHD, it would

explain why ultimately there was an
attraction between the two of them.

Why they would both spend the first
season and a half being so disgusted

and then like one day be like, just
kidding and just make out central, like

it, that explained so much of that.

Matt: It really does.

I would also say that, so his,
in-game spoiler alert, love of

life ended up being, uh, Anya.

Who is,

Alison: Anya!

Matt: Who is, a demon, right?

What was Anya?

She was not mortal.

Alison: Yeah, she'd been around
since the beginning of time.

She was some kind of

Matt: yeah, in human

form.

Alison: I think, yeah,
she'd been feeding off souls

Matt: But that, but it's interesting to
me because, they're showing correlation

between ADHD and autism these days, right?

Like that there are some
connections ,there're overlaps.

There are there's spectrums of ADHD,
there's spectrums of, of autism.

And Um, to me, no joke.

Uh, and I know she's a demon or

demons, demons,

uh, Anya is autistic, right??

There's.

Alison: No, she and Tara, Tara,

I've already forgotten are
hundred percent on the spectrum

Matt: Mm-hmm Yeah.

For sure, absolute coding for that.

Alison: Well, and Anya's is
because she's actually not human.

So of course like human communication and
interaction, is actually foreign to her.

Matt: Mm-hmm.

And take that as you will.

In 2022, you know, looking back and going.

Okay.

So somebody who's coded with
autism is actually a demon.

Alison: Not what we're saying.

Not

Matt: Without, without any.

Yeah.

Not what we're saying.

But there is, you know, there's
this episode called The Body.

Um, and there's plenty of examples
of, of Anya being this way.

And, I think that her, her inability
to have human emotion, you know,

let's just call it human emotion.

Right.

It is what, what her challenge was,
um, but it really like people point

to this episode, The Body, which is
one of my, my favorite shows and I

little personal side note, I saw The
Body, uh, before I had seen any other

episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I saw it.

Yeah.

And I, I was like, yeah, okay.

I didn't get the show.

I didn't get the episode.

I didn't understand anything.

But flash forward, sadly or short
few years later, I had all the

context because my, my dad had died.

Anybody that's lost a
parent, watch The Body again.

It is a very, it's a
very heartfelt episode.

It's a very sad episode.

Joss Whedon had just lost his mom and
that's he put that, put all of that into

the show, but there are little things
about that episode that are so amazing.

If you are someone who understands, you
know, I don't want you to understand

of course, but if you've lost a
parent and you watch that episode,

there's so much stuff in that episode.

That's like what, like, one of the things
that I always bring up is Buffy's mom

is, you know, they have to get her to
the hospital and she's dead and sorry,

again, spoiler alert, but hopefully, you
know, that was 98 y'all so, you know.

Uh, she picks up the telephone and
for no reason, the, the buttons

of the phone are suddenly like
unreadable and enormous, right?

Like she can't like, she can't do it.

She can't dial.

Right.

And also the amazing thing is
like the whole episode, pretty

much from the view of Buffy.

She cannot look anyone in the eyes.

So the camera stops pretty much
right below anyone's gaze, right?

Pretty much at the chin.

All of the people that come in, like
the ambulance people, her friends,

it's just, I'm getting chills thinking
about it now because it's, you

know, when I got the call, uh, that
dad was in the hospital just that

heightened sense of lack of sense.

I mean, you just, these things
start shutting down in your brain,

but that's exactly what I mean.

I couldn't see anybody I was in
Atlanta all the way from there to the

airport to, Vermont, where he was.

And all, all the things become so
impossible to do all the little,

things that you take for granted,
like paying for something or

anyway, in the heightened moment.

It's really amazing.

At the end of that episode, this
demon Anya is, uh, asking all these

questions of, of Xander and Willow.

And she's asking questions like,
well, are we going to see the body?

Are we going to see, is she going
to be, you know, lying down?

You know, she's asking all these
questions that sound so insensitive,

you know, maybe someone who just
doesn't have that filter of, of like,

I don't know, social norms and that's,
that's what Xander and Willow play.

Like, what are you saying, please?

You can't ask those questions.

I mean, she's like, I don't remember
what she actually says, but I just,

just these questions that you go.

Oof.

Yikes.

And she's just asking them and
then finally Willow blows up at

her and she just, she's like, well,

i, I don't understand.

No one is explaining this to me.

No one is helping me through this.

I'm never gonna say hello to her again.

I'm never going to, watch her, you
know, walk across the street again,

all these different, all these
little things and, it's really sweet.

It's very, very sweet, but it is something
I think, that if, processing emotion,

processing experiences in that way were
more challenging to you, these are things

that, that, you know, somebody might ask.

So I loved it.

I loved that.

So I wonder, I wonder if that's, that's
another thing that they were going,

they were, they were doing is they had
the ADHD kid with, with someone that

would maybe give him some patience
or give him some, you know, to try

to slow him down, to try to say, you
know, because if you have ADHD, maybe

you're all emotion, everything's pure
emotion, the good, the bad, all of it.

Alison: And I think that that's true
across any neuro divergent spectrum

is a lot of times that things that are
perceived as, uh, socially incompetent

we'll call it is, is usually that person
just trying to understand and being

perceived in a hurtful or incorrect way.

Matt: Hell.

Yes.

Hell yes.

You know, once again, that is why
I am glad we're doing this podcast.

I'm glad that, there are doctors that care
about this now and there are therapists

and coaches and people talking about it
because, think about all the people that

we grew up with that were just weird.

Right?

I,

Alison: I remember the first time that
someone, um, talking about their son

summarized autism, as you, you take
a hole, the size of a pinhole and you

try and shove all of the light that
we all experience through a very large

frame through that little tiny pinhole.

Like, how would you feel if everything
was being kind of focused on you

in a very, very narrow path, but
still the same amount, you know?

And, you know, I probably had been
mean and rude and why are they

weird and why they act like that?

And once somebody kind of put it in those
terms of like, yeah, I'd probably not

react physically or emotionally well, too,
if I had light and sound traveling to me

through a different, more narrow path.

So

Matt: And for us, maybe it's, take
normal light and then like turn

up the brightness, the gain, the,

the

contrast, put a disco

Alison: and reflecting

Matt: and then,

Alison: yeah.

Matt: Uh, well this was super fun.

I thought, I don't know.

It was fun to step out, step
out and, and try something new.

Alison: Yeah.

I feel like this was the perfect
discussion for me to have with you

since you were the one you with the
help of our good friend, Genna Cohen

brought Buffy firmly into my life.

It, you know, I will say this, this
is probably gonna surprise you.

Now I want to go rewatch.

like

Matt: No, it doesn't surprise me at all.

Mm-hmm I was like,

oh,

Alison: oh,

Oh,

Um, thank you for having this
weird little chat with me.

Thank you, listeners of ADHd20 for tuning
in to listen to two people who are not in

any way qualified to diagnose a cucumber.

Uh

Matt: Nope.

Alison: And we are talking about made
up people, um, and what we think their,

um, afflictions and otherwise might be

Matt: I dunno.

Cuz it's fun and it's therapeutic and it's
harmless and I don't know if people, if

people end up listening to this episode
a lot, maybe we'll do more of these.

Alison: If there is a cast that
you want to, join the conversation,

um, about please let us know.

Matt: Someday.

We'll get somebody who could, who
could actually actually diagnose

and that'll be really fun.

We'll do

Alison: Yeah,

Matt: Um, yeah.

Thanks you guys for joining us
and thank you for supporting us.

And we do have a Patreon as, as
per requirement for podcasters

and and nerds all across the land.

Alison: Thanks to our
little Discord family.

Matt: Thank

Alison: Thank you, Matt, for
hating on Ross and, and, and...

Matt: and starting this anytime.

Anytime.

Alison: With your Ross Gellar haterade.

Matt: Any time.

And until next time, my friend, you.

Alison: Yay.

Matt: Yay.