Alison: Amazing!

Are we ready?

Are we ready?

Are we

Matt: I'm ready.

Alison: How do

I sound?

I didn't really do like a full.

Matt: Sound like a professional.

Alison: You sound like a professional.

Matt: It's almost like
we've done this before.

Hello, Alison.

Alison: Hi, Matt.

Matt: How are

Alison: we are.

I'm great.

What.

Is this episode...seven?!

Seven?

Matt: Lucky number seven.

I don't know.

Alison: We're getting lucky today.

So exciting times at ADHd20 HQ.

We officially released the
podcast into the world yesterday.

Matt: I know

Alison: So all other recordings
up to this point, we had no idea

what you guys were going to think.

And now we know.

Matt: You like us, you really like us.

Alison: I love y'all.

If you're listening to this from
the bottom of my heart, I am so

glad that you're one of our people.

It's a pleasure having you.

Matt: Seriously.

I just feel like this is exactly what
I have been missing for a little while.

It's just people saying.

Hey, thanks for talking about this,
which is so easy for me because

I can talk about things right.

Uh, and it just means a lot when people
share stories, their own stories, and ask

questions because here's the other thing.

I know so much about so many weird things.

Alison: Can confirm.

Matt: Weird things.

And I just, when somebody asks
about the time timer and I can just

confidently help them with that.

Oh, my heart is just,
it grows three sizes.

Speaking of which I've started
the time timer, Alison.

Alison: Yay.

But, yeah, I agree.

Something that changed for me in recent
years is like finding my community,

finding the people who get me.

We've talked about that a lot.

Like it is so helpful
to feel seen and heard.

And it's so nice when someone
makes you feel seen and heard.

And that's what we've heard so far is
that this is a topic that definitely

resonates with a lot of people.

So welcome to our nerdy,
neurodivergent fun.

And let's keep it going.

Matt: Keep it going.

This is a podcast about the
intersection between ADHD.

And D&D, Dungeons and Dragons, or
really all role-playing games, but

we play D&D for the most part.

And, you would think there isn't,
you know, that wide of a street,

but you would be surprised.

Alison: But you would be wrong if that's

Matt: Wrong.

Yeah.

It's a wonderful way to talk about
two nerdy things in our lives.

what are we going to
talk about today Alison?

Alison: Well first we've done
like this some, but not enough.

So we're going to, we're going to
start a new, little thing here forward.

We're gonna roll something called a D100.

And so there you have a percentile dice
and then you also have a 10 sided dice.

And so you roll them.

And then there's a table that
like, whatever you roll, the table

is going to give us a question.

So we're going to, we're going to get to
know each other on an even deeper level

and in doing so invite you to do the same.

Uh, by starting our episodes by
rolling on various D 100 tables.

Let's you and I both roll now and
see what numbers we get, shall we?

Matt: Can I slip in a fun fact real quick.

Alison: Yeah, you can.

Matt: Okay.

Fun fact real quick.

When I was little, they had D10s.

But they didn't have
the, the tens of a D 10.

Alison: The percentile dice?

Matt: What I'm looking at now is
I'm looking at one D 10 that has a

10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90.

And it's so convenient because when you
roll that one with a regular D 10, that

only has one through 10, then you can
know which one is which, but back in

the day, back in my day, they didn't do

Alison: Back in your
day, get off my lawn.

Matt: true.

quality of life improvement.

to dice.

I'm sorry, keep going.

What

Alison: Dice so nice.

All right.

What did you roll on
your two beautiful dice?

That's so much better
than the olden times.

The

Matt: My goodness.

I rolled a 100.

Alison: Oh,

well, I love that.

Okay.

I feel like you're going to have
a great answer for this question.

Matthew Bivins, what
makes you respect others?

Matt: What makes me respect others?

passion.

In what you do.

Pride in what you do.

I'm not talking about Pride in
how you look or though if that's

your thing, I love that too.

Anything that you can talk passionately
about and that you really work hard at.

That will gain my respect
from you instantly.

And I'm not saying you have
to be good at that thing.

But If I talk to you and I can tell
that you are so into it and you want

to get better at it, whatever it is
truly, like I don't think there's a

topic that would make me uninterested.

If you are giving it to me with
as much passion and excitement

as possible, that will just.

Also being nice.

Being, not a Dick.

I'm not an asshole, really.

That really goes a long way with
me because I just don't feel

like that is always the norm.

And that's me.

Alison: Non-passionate
assholes may not apply.

Matt: I'm not going to
respect you that much, man.

No, I'm sorry.

Alison: What if you're, what if
you're passionate about being a Dick?

Matt: No seriously, though.

If you can sit down with me,
and really talk to me about why

you feel that's the way to live.

I'm not going to agree with
you necessarily, but, I

probably will respect you.

There's no surprise, I am a liberal.

I am a latte liberal.

I do like lattes though.

Anyway, I, I am a liberal and so there
are many, many, many things that I

don't understand about conservatives.

however, I have sat down with
conservative people, Republicans,

but whatever they were.

And they have talked about why
they believe what they believe.

And I walk away with respect.

Because if they respect me enough
to talk to me and not attack me.

And then they can talk
about why, then I'm.

We have some very dear friends
that I think fall into that group.

And, again, I don't necessarily agree with
everything that they believe, but there.

There's a mutual respect.

Yep.

Alison: I love it.

All right.

So I had a much lower number
than yours, which is good.

You have the table up and
ready to ask me my question?

What's 39.

That's where I am right now.

Meet me there.

Matt: Yeah, this is cool.

And this is cool.

Alison: Okay.

Cool.

Matt: Investigators must be
able to control their emotions.

Have you had to control your
emotions to achieve a goal?

What happened?

Alison: Oh, my God.

Story of my life.

I have spent all of it being
told that I'm too dramatic,

too emotional, too something.

And it's really frustrating.

I really hate it.

And I think that we've talked a
lot about the collective good that

social media has been doing for us.

And I think this is one of the things
where there's this movement to as

you are and don't, make yourself less.

But sadly, Uh, it has often been
my experience in the working world

in like forced relationships, like
familial relationships, inherited

relationships, where I've had to
dumb down or pull back on my fiery

emotional side to get the job done.

And I don't like it and
therefore I don't do it anymore.

If you don't like this.

Go find less.

It's okay.

Matt: Go find less.

Alison: Which is actually a really
good segue into one of the things

that I wanted to talk about today.

And no, we did not plan
that, but I'm here for it.

Matt: I bet.

I bet I know.

Alison: So we've been talking about people
that we want to come guest on our podcast.

We've been talking about finding
our groove out in the real world.

And Elyse Myers is my
internet crush if you will.

Um, she is by trade a web and UX designer,
so we have that in common with her.

She is wildly talented as a
vocal artist, which we also love.

And she is a very major advocate
for mental health awareness.

And especially ADHD.

And so one thing that I have noticed
in watching a lot of Elyse's videos

is she always has these funny
little songs to accompany them.

But she talks a lot about hyper fixations.

This is my hyper fixation outfit.

This hyper fixation meal.

I never realized I did that.

This was not a cognizant choice I've
ever made until she gave it a name

and started like talking about it.

And then I realized everything
I do is a hyper fixation.

Matt: I'm sorry.

I could have told you, I just,
I didn't know how to begin.

Alison: You should have written me a
little song and put it on TikTok, Matt!

Matt

Matt: That's all it takes.

That's what I've taken.

Alison: So what are some of
your hyper fixations, Matt?

And we could talk about some of mine too.

Matt: You're not Yeah.

You're not

Alison: I'll start.

No, let's roll a D 20.

Let's go about this the right way.

Matt: Okay.

Let's contest.

Yep.

Alison: I'm going to, I'm
going to roll my big chonk.

My new chonky chonk.

It's going to make a great noise.

Oh, yeah.

Matt: Wow.

Alison: Natural 1.

Matt: Oh, wow.

I got a five, not much better.

Alison: Still beats a one.

Matt: Okay.

Okay then yes.

Hyper fixations.

Oh yeah.

Yeah for sure, you get hyper-fixated.

I do too.

I do too.

I can give you an extreme example,
that happened just this week, in fact.

I mean, I know I'm not alone, but
still it's so weird, this stuff.

The stuff that we're like,
so gung-ho about admitting.

It's just oh no.

And it's cool.

It's good.

It's not that bad, but
it's just like, wow.

When I realize how much time
I spent on this the other day.

I even told you about it when it happened.

Because, I sat down for four hours.

And I reconfigured for the billionth time.

My entire folder system.

I started with my notes,
my notes folder system.

And I went.

Here's the thing.

I was inspired, which is a cool thing.

I was inspired by, this
guy on the internet.

I'm going to have to find his
name, but I was inspired by

this article that I had read.

He had like a catchy phrase for
how he could remember the folders.

I was like, nah, that's
not going to work for me.

So I spent an eternity kind
of applying that system.

But I had to rename everything and
I had to rename everything to be

something that I would be passionate
about, and interested in, which

was, um, role playing game terms.

Alison: There it is.

Matt: Oh my God.

Oh my God.

It's just so intense.

If anybody's curious, like one folder
is just for, links to other folders

and other pages and other things.

Sort of like an index, right.

And I called that my maps folder.

Right.

It's a map.

And then the next one is inventory
and that's all the files on the fonts

that make the notes work, all the like
integral pieces of an operating system

and templates and stuff like that.

Then there's what I call sessions, which
is a daily journal and its meetings.

And then there's actions, which is
like me digesting some material that

I find on the internet or somewhere,
and then making notes about that.

And also like my sort of super
vague CRM, and then I've got,

anyway, it goes on and on, it goes
on and on, but it's, I love it now.

Alison: So.

Matt: Also know that this
will not be the last one.

So if anybody's listening to this
and man, I have ADHD, and one thing

I beat myself up about is always
trying to find a productivity or

a methodology that works for me.

Don't just, let me just tell you.

You're never going to stop.

Give up.

Go with it.

Just try your very best
to not do it too much.

Don't, I'm speaking from experience.

don't flip flop.

Tasks.

Don't always jump on the new shiny.

Uh, or at least get a time timer
and just check it out for a minute.

But you're not going to stop.

Sorry.

Alison: Have a hypothesis knowing
the similarities and the difference

between us and what I know to
be true about you and your hyper

fixations is that they're very big.

They're very macro.

Matt: Yes.

Alison: I don't see you having
as many hyper fixations in

the small and the day-to-day.

And I am that way.

I have the hyper fixation meal because
I don't want to think about cooking.

So I just know that every day
I'm going to roast some potatoes

and some Brussels sprouts.

And if I'm feeling crazy, I
might put a fried egg on it.

And you don't do that.

I feel like you, you, have your
like Friday's pizza night and

stuff like that, but I wouldn't
call that a hyper fixation meal.

I have hyper fixation.

My.

My outfits like this is The
only thing I'm going to wear.

During this season, that's it.

You're just going to see me
in it over and over again.

Matt: Right.

Alison: And so here, you know, back
to Elyse Myers, like hearing her sing

about this is my hyper-fixation meal.

I'm going to eat it over and
over again till I get sick of it.

I was like, oh, oh, oh no, I do that.

I do that a lot.

Everything I do, but I don't
think my hyper fixations are

big projects like yours, but it,
they do like they breed anxiety.

And the way that, like, when I get
onto the hyper fixation train, it's

like, if I don't do this thing,
the world will come crashing down.

Even today I had plenty of work to do.

Plenty of actual work to do.

And all I want to do is sit here and
do like ADHd20 marketing and D 100

tables and the world's going to go on.

I'll get to those things.

It's fine.

But for a brief period of time
today, nothing else existed.

And I'm sure.

you experienced that with me a lot
where it's Alison, just leave it.

It'll still be there tomorrow.

It's fine.

Matt: Yeah, but that stuff can be
really difficult for us to let go of.

And I am always trying to balance
that, because that kind of

thing does not give me comfort.

As much as it does, you.

so I've already said before that.

I am envious of your hyper fixations to
a point, and you're not envious of mine.

Which is fine.

My feelings are not hurt, but, but
one thing that, that I, I can get

into the habit of beating myself up
about is not on unlocking and stuff.

We should do one of these
about productivity, because I

think about it all the time.

Um,

But I'm with you.

Getting locked in.

Getting locked in is.

Alison: And nothing
else exists or matters.

And that really is grounds
for most of my anxiety.

And if I could just figure,
if I could just figure that.

Let me focus on fixing

Very counterintuitive to
everything that you just said.

Matt: But no, that's it.

That's what I'm trying
to do with these things.

And I, do have a coach and she
tries to keep me from jumping

down those productivity.

Alison: I will.

I will say though, that one thing I am
envious of you for is I feel like even

though a lot of what you do is never a
done state just by nature of the thing.

I feel like you finish more than I do.

You hyper fixated and got
your folders in order.

Had that been me, I would have
sat around, started 18 times,

gotten frustrated and walked away.

your hyper fixation glues
your butt to the chair.

I am not leaving and you're
going to change it tomorrow,

but you did finish it today.

Matt: I did.

You're right.

You're right.

I cannot tell you how many times
I've come home, and , Lindsay

is like, how has your work?

I was like, I just,
haven't beaten this thing.

There's something that I haven't beaten.

It's so violent.

yeah, I just got stuck and
I just could not beat it.

Alison: I couldn't beat it.

Yeah.

So Matt has done the lion's share
of the editing of these episodes.

And even in doing those, I've noticed.

I like editing now because Matt
has shown me how and Descript is

the best shameless plug I don't
want to finish any of them though.

I'm like, I'll get them to 90% and
then I'll pass them to my friend, Matt.

He can finish it.

Matt: Yeah, but here's something
that I've been thinking about a lot.

With ADHD.

with finishing things, all this stuff, I
feel like this concept of giving yourself

points and getting to a level like points

Alison: that you didn't know exist.

Oh, cause I know we've talked
about this on the podcast

before we, we didn't say XP.

Oh, my God.

That's it.

That's it.

That's how I'm going to track it.

Actually I've been trying to come up
with a system to track these points

my coach has been talking about.

I just have to track XP.

And then I can level up.

Matt: Damn, that's going
to be a rabbit hole.

That's going to be.

That's fun though.

That's really fun.

Okay.

All right.

Yes.

Giving yourself XP for doing
things that neurotypical brains

have zip zero problem with.

Starting.

Sitting down.

Opening up your pen, opening
up, getting to the email.

Without being distracted by
something else, so you give

yourself experience points.

Um, along the way, oh my God.

Are we going to build a methodology?

Oh, no.

I hope so.

Alison: I hope so.

Matt: Anyway, you know,
you give yourself points.

So what I'm thinking is like, I bet
that there is a system somewhere

in there where you get XP for
the stuff that you're good at?

Just like a fighter is going
to be up front in a party Uh,

walking through a dungeon.

The magic user will be in
the back or the ranger.

Somebody with, ranged
weapons will be in the back.

And it's not like you expect one
person to do all of those things.

I love the last bits of editing
to pulling all together.

So maybe your job is
just going to be, Hey.

Just clean everything up.

Just make all the words make sense.

In the transcript, and then that's so
much work from me that I don't like.

If you could just get to that point,
which is probably really comforting.

And then I can do all the
reconfiguring or the adding of sound.

Noises.

Alison: I love it.

That's all I've ever wanted.

For you to say, I will finish it.

If you will start it.

Matt: See, that's what we have to
do, I know we're laughing, but that

is really, truly, I think, what
humans with our brains have to do.

And I think the sooner that we are
not ashamed of that, and for me, the

sooner that I can let something go and
accept that and say, if this person

doesn't mind doing it, let them do it.

And then handoff and then you'll
move so much faster in life.

Good job, Alison.

Alison: Solving all of the world's
problems, Mattie, or at least our own.

Oh, my God.

We're going to have.

an RPG methodology.

This is, the one time in the world
that I wish that this podcast

was video too, so that you guys
could have all seen Matt's face.

Matt: Oh, my God, I must've been like.

Alison: Adorable.

Hyper fixating on that.

I have no idea what I opened up
that can of worms that it would

lead us through that, and, by
gosh, by golly, I am thrilled.

Thank you.

Elyse Myers.

Matt: Thanks Elyse Meyers.

I went to Tik TOK just for you, Elyse.

Alison: That is that something.

Alright, well, we got our first fan
mail today, we'll call it fan mail.

It's a question from our good buddy
Meg Anderson-King who listened to,

first two episodes that we put out.

And wrote my teen got diagnosed with
ADHD inattentive type in May, 2021.

We're still working on the
coping strategies and have

yet to figure out meds.

What is something you wish your parents
had done to support you as a kid?

We've gotten the kid diagnosed,
in therapy, and have a 5 0 4 plan.

Medication has been a challenge,
inattentive type doesn't react the same

way as impulsive type does to meds.

I want to be the best mom I can be.

So any and all ADHD
life hacks are welcome.

I hope y'all are well.

And that life is good.

Cheers.

Meg Anderson-King.

We love you, Meg

Matt: I really do, I really do, Meg.

Really do.

Wow.

That's great.

Alison: Right.

I mean, the fact that
you're even asking is.

80,000 steps and in the right direction.

it.

leaps and bounds from where many
of us came from as children of

the seventies, eighties, nineties.

Matt: Amen.

Amen.

That is the, yes.

Alison: And I don't say
that to point fingers.

I think all of our parents were doing
the very best they could with the

information that they had at the time.

But.

I'm glad that you asked that question.

that's what the 39 question was
the beginning of this episode.

Because I was just basically told as
a child, by everybody, every adult

in my life, just deal with that.

And nothing's wrong with you.

Just deal with it.

When every sign in the book
was like, I was plenty bright.

I was plenty smart.

I just lacked focus.

So, you know, just have more discipline.

Alison is what they all said.

without any reasonable accommodations.

So I think that's, the main thing is
asking, is reaching out, which is clearly

what you're already doing both to licensed
professionals, which Matt and I are not.

Matt: Definitely not.

Please let us be clear about that.

Alison: but the whole,

Like sharing with others and
being willing to just try.

and that's, I think we talked about this
and one of our earlier episodes where.

I had a below C average in high
school and was really miserable.

I hated everything about it and
then thrived in college because

suddenly it was the type of
class that worked with my brain.

So you're going to have to be
willing to get a little bit scrappy.

And to try things.

And when they don't
work, try other things.

and to find, to fight for your kid.

I think that's what I had wanted
that I didn't get as it was feeling

like somebody was in my corner
instead of that, I was a failure.

So having that adult advocate.

These days, I have to imagine.

That must feel pretty magical and
your kid is pretty lucky to have you.

Matt: Super lucky.

Super lucky Meg because, you
don't have to know anything.

You don't have to, you
can stumble through this.

you're a parent, so you
obviously know that.

There's no manuals there's no, and
unfortunately there's not really even

amazing manuals for something like ADHD.

they don't really know enough.

It's changing all the time.

I feel like recently, like five,
10 years, they have had a lot

of cool groundbreaking thoughts.

About ADHD and how it might
relate to autism, anyway, but I.

I think that we're all
stumbling through a little bit.

I'm with Alison, just keep learning,
keep talking, if Tik TOK is your thing

or YouTube or something, just watch
as many people as you can because.

The people that are stepping up and
talking about this in an honest way, and

It's it is really important.

The thing about your kid is that they
probably think they're the only ones.

And.

They're not.

And especially if mom's like, Hey,
I don't necessarily know what you're

going through, but what can I do?

How can I make this easier?

and honestly, be willing
to do try anything.

Like, um, one example is I trip.

and knock my ankles, knees.

I cut myself all the time on things.

All the time.

And I don't know, I don't remember
it, but I'm always just tripping

on things and bruising my legs.

And Lindsay will say,
where did you get that?

Bruise, cut, gash, whatever.

And I'm like, I have no idea.

But then she started noticing.

Oh, my gosh.

My brain is already where I need to be.

So I'm not it's that whole,
I can't see the middle thing.

So I, if there's anything in
my way, I'm going to hit it.

I'm not actually clumsy.

If things, aren't the way that they should
be, then my focus is going to be....

Elsewhere, and I'm going
to slam into something.

So she's just okay, I'm going to
go extreme and I'm going to try to.

Not leave my shoes in the middle of
the floor, even though I really want

to, because I'm adult and I can.

Because Matt will trip
on them, guaranteed.

She acquiesces sometimes because.

She knows that's part of my disability.

so it can be super weird.

Alison: I know that a spouse
relationship is very different than

a parent child, but pay attention to
everything that Matt just said, Lindsay

is willing to be his partner in this.

She is willing to roll up her
sleeves, get on his level.

And walk through it with him.

I've actually had this
conversation with my own mother.

as someone who went through all of
elementary, junior, and high school and

college and into adulthood, I was in
my mid thirties before I was diagnosed.

And to Matt's point, you just,
you feel alone the whole time.

And if somebody had just been willing,
one thing I've noticed is, I think

I was giving all the cues, but
nobody was paying attention to them.

and I again say that not
to point fingers, but

Pay attention to is your child an
audible learner or a visual learner.

And if your child is a visual learner,
don't tell them to do something,

show them how to do something.

Walk with them through that.

I've had that problem, even in adulthood.

In work where I have bosses who
just want to shriek orders at me

and tell me something and I'm over
here pleading, can you show me an

example of what you're looking for?

Cause we're not on the same page
right now and I just need to see it.

and that's when we're saying like,
try different things, but ask your kid

if it's okay to sit with them while
they do their homework explaining

not because you're, watching them and
checking them, but like to see where

they stumble and see where they need
some help and see where they need to be

shown a different way of doing something.

I was talking with my mom, she
was complaining that my dad, who

very clearly has ADHD, just like
me, that has never been diagnosed

and never will be diagnosed.

She was complaining that
he hadn't hung up a fan.

It had been sitting in
the box for a year.

We don't know how to do something.

So what, sometimes we it's
just easier not to start.

Why don't you like, take the
fan out of the box with him and

put together a project plan?

Today, we're going to
read the instructions.

Tomorrow we're going to make sure
that we have all the supplies and they

didn't leave out any of the screws.

The next day, we're going to pull the
wires down, And write those things

down because there's some comfort.

It's what I've talked about.

I think on every episode of this is
like finding that, that comfort zone,

that safety blanket I know what's next.

I know what's up.

So help them navigate through that
middle part where they're stumbling.

Either figuratively or
literally in causing bruises.

By.

Like, okay, homework is
going to get done today.

We're going to take the
papers out of your backpack.

We're going to see what we have to do.

We're going to come up
with an action plan.

We're going to do the hard homework first.

You hate math, let's attack that.

Then we're, we're going to give
you 27 XP for doing it, whatever,

Matt: Or, or if energy
levels are such that.

they're like, they need to sort of.

Alison: Ramp up.

Matt: up.

Can I, can I share real quick?

A, a true like saintly person.

I have a really difficult time packing.

Period for anything.

And, especially for a trip, I've
got like travel anxiety and.

My wife, having a disability herself
understands that I, you can't get

mad for Lindsay for not hearing you.

You just can't do that.

It's not a personal thing.

She's not, not answering
you to be a jerk, right?

so she, she has a lot more patience
than a lot of people, but she also

has the ability to apply that to me.

And.

What I have to do when I pack say.

I have to go.

And I have to learn like the military
roll system for your t-shirts.

I have to learn something new.

That is fun to even get to
the process of doing it.

And I think when she first experienced
this, she was like, is that

really what you should be doing?

And then she realized, oh, okay.

So that's what he has to ramp up
into to even get the stuff done.

And so she was like, yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

It's going to take longer.

Than her, but.

I'm not her.

And that's, you're already there.

Meg, you're already there
because you get that.

Yeah.

this, This question from Meg was
interesting because it kind of leads into

this thing that I wrote just today.

So I try to journal a
little bit every day.

What it does for me.

And we haven't talked a lot
about D&D on this episode.

That's okay.

We talked about it a lot last week, but.

it writing a little bit a day,
like 500 words will jumpstart

writing about anything else.

Ie, world-building or creative thought.

So it's 500 words and, look
at the number and then I stop

as soon as they get to 500.

So this new app that I've
been trying, because it's a

new app and I have to try it.

Alison: Naturally.

Matt: Is called Stoic.

Period.

And it is real pretty looking.

I've already written the developers
because there's some things that

are not accessible about the UI.

Like literally not accessible.

You can't actually read
some of the things.

So I've already written to the
developer saying you should make it

more accessible, but it is really,
well-made really, well-made, it's a

journaling app and some meditation in
there and some other, just things, but

the coolest things are the prompts.

And so the prompt for today was what
would you say to your five-year-old self?

So in this whole, I'm going to
be more honest about everything.

I'll read parts of what I wrote.

I wrote don't stop trying to be different.

I said, I know that you're
already starting to be different.

You're getting picked on for being
different, but don't stop it.

Because the thing that you
end up doing now is going to

be the thing that you crave.

Being different.

That's what you're going to crave.

Understand that you actually
do have a disability.

And there isn't anything
you can do about that.

especially in 1977, because it was
not something that people were talking

about, ADD, so just again, that whole
you're not alone thing I think is just

going to make a whole generation of
kids a whole lot safer and happier.

And then I write: your
brain does work differently.

And when you're in situations where
your brain has the encouragement

and room to shine, it will.

The rest of the time,
just ask for help, right?

Ask for help.

Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Do your best not to beat yourself
up too much along the way.

Cause it might be a tough road sometimes.

if you can.

And then also tell dad to buy 10 times the
amount of those star wars action figures,

then do not open them because they are
going to be worth a ton of money someday.

Yeah.

So that's what I, that's what
I'd say to my five-year-old self.

Alison: I love

Matt: Yeah.

What would you say to
your five-year-old self?

Alison?

Alison: Um, I think a lot of
those same things that, you know,

What makes you different
is what makes you special.

That's a good thing.

I think growing when I was five years old
in 1987, And everybody tells you, oh, be

like a duck, let's, let other people's
commentary of you just roll off your back.

Ignore them.

ignore the people, making fun of you.

And I think that I wish that
five-year-old me instead knew.

First of all that hurt people hurt people.

You know, that, that it really
is a reflection of how they feel

and what they're going through.

And I wasted a lot of time getting
really fired up about the mean

things people had to say about me.

One not knowing where they were coming
from and two, not understanding

that it was none of my business,
what somebody else thinks of me.

so I wish I'd gotten there faster.

I wish that I had understood that the
people who are really exceedingly happy in

high school tend to peak in high school.

And in a lot of ways, I feel like you and
I both are still just getting started.

And I wish that there was a way to say
that in a way that a five-year-old's

brain under stands, just hold on.

Just hold on and be a freak.

Be a weird, let people make fun of you.

Matt: Yeah.

Scream.

Be emotional it's O K

Alison: If they don't
like you go find less.

Matt: Go find less.

Yeah, for sure.

That is...

That is it.

Um, Well, alison.

Thank you for doing this podcast with me.

Alison: Thanks for inviting me.

It's my favorite.

I mean that sincerely.

Matt: Yeah.

I mean, I'm no longer
inviting you by the way.

It could be cute if you keep saying
that, like until the very end of the

podcast, meaning 200 episodes in, but.

Anyway,

Thank you.

Alison: Thank you for
the original invitation.

The gift that keeps on giving.

Matt: And thank you guys for listening now
that we know that there are some, and, we

really appreciate it and appreciate you.

So, thank you.

Oh,

And there it is.

until next time.

Love

Alison: birthday weekend.

I love

Matt: man.

Alison: I'll see you soon.