Tey: Oh,

I don't know how far in advance
I'm listening to episodes.

So, am I the first guest?

Alison : You're the first guest.

You're the first guest.

Tey: I'm of gonna cry!

That's that's beautiful.

Matt Start: Hi Alison.

Hi, Alison.

Alison : Hi Matt.

Hi Matt.

I'm so excited.

Matt Start: I know we're
super psyched today because...

... Alison : we have our very
first guest for ADHd20!

Matt Start: Doooooh!

That's amazing.

Yeah, it's our very first guest and he's
someone that we both respect so, so much.

He's an inspiration to us.

He is, a kind of a full time, game
master for you every Thursday night.

Alison : Living the dream.

That GMing for me is the dream, but
like being a full time game master.

Tey: It is.

Matt Start: Yes, is, it is.,

Tey: That's how I, that's
how I'll introduce my voice.

Hi everyone.

I'm Alejandro Tey.

I use he/him pronouns and I am living the
dream of being Alison's GM every Thursday.

That is the dream.

Matt Start: That's the perfect intro.

Alison : So, you guys have heard
me talk about Tabletale Games,

I feel like in most episodes.

Because Thursdays, they're the days that
I get to play with the Tabletale crew.

They're my favorite days of
the week now, because of that.

So yeah.

Give us, give us a little introduction.

Tell us about yourself and
then tell us about Tabletale.

Tey: Bwawm!!

The year is 2020.

It is January.

Everything is going great in the life
of this sweet little theater nerd.

I'm getting ready to, start a
workshop production of my play, The

Isle of Sugar, which is a tabletop
RPG slash theater experience, that

is also based in my grandparents'
experience with the Cuban revolution.

So yeah.

Oh my gosh.

We should talk about this.

Yeah.

So how to take an uninitiated
audience member, cuz that's

the thing with RPGs, right?

Is like.

you go in knowing I'm gonna play an RPG,
even if you don't know the rules, someone

has said here's what you need to know
about the rules, or don't worry, I'll

walk you through the rules, but you know
you're gonna go into play in an RPG.

So, so the question there was, how
do you take an uninitiated audience

member, an audience member who's maybe
just like I'm coming in to do a play.

Maybe I've heard there's
some participation.

That's all I know.

And then secretly we're gonna
play an RPG also, it's based

into docudrama also, yeah.

Yeah.

So this is very cool.

So I'm getting ready to do that.

Um, me and my wife are like
going on our honeymoon.

I'm like running games online for
strangers that, you know, I convince

myself this is research for my play
uh, but maybe it's also just for me?

So I'm doing all of that.

Nothing could possibly go wrong.

We have an extension.

The run of the show does fantastic.

It gets extended.

We're gonna go into March in
like a new space and everything.

And then something happened that y'all
might have heard of, or might be aware of.

Alison : Oh, my.

Tey: And everything shut down.

And all of the gigs that I had been
doing, even beyond Isle of Sugar, like

all my theater work and all my teaching
work just vanished into the wind.

(breath)

And then, uh, I said to the internet,
Hey, there, I'm a dear sweet theater

nerd who just lost all my foreseeable
employment for who knows how long, Uh,

I'm gonna be running some games online.

Maybe you want to play, and maybe you
wanna toss a coin or two to your Witcher.

And it went really well.

It went really well.

I did that for a couple weeks
and, and there was such a massive

need at that time for connection.

'Cause you know, we were all,
we all had to quarantine.

We all had to be away from each other and

Alison : For just six weeks, right?

Tey: For only six weeks,
I mean that's right.

You know, we're gonna flatten the curve.

This is gonna boost me until we get
through the other side and then we'll

pick up the pieces and see what's left.

And so when that did not happen, my,
my friend and player from my home game,

Zack Berinstein, called me up and was
like, Hey, I see what you've been doing.

It's a great idea.

But A.

You are charging way too little.

And B.

Would you like to take this
more seriously as a business?

And I said yes to both of those things.

And then we went on a two year
journey into Tabletale Games.

Um, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Matt Start: I did not
know that origin story.

I am heartbroken that
I missed Isle of Sugar.

Tey: You didn't, it's gonna,
it's gonna come back around.

I'm going to find some way to do it.

you might have to go to another state to
experience it, but it'll live somehow.

Alison : I also don't think I realized
that we got to play with you so close

to the beginning of all of it, because
I think our first game was June.

We bought Matt as a birthday gift cuz
of our mutual friend Corinne had, when

Tey: Yeah.

Alison : started up said, look at the
cool thing that my friends are doing.

And so we just kind of on a lark, we were
like, this would be a cool birthday gift.

So we did a private session with you.

Tey: And y'all are some
of my favorite players.

Like that's the thing, like I
wanna keep playing with y'all

as long as I possibly can, too.

Matt Start: Oh, okay.

Alison : Yeah.

Twist our arms.

We will.

Yeah.

So With Matt and Evan and Fitz, we have
played several one shots, a four shot

series that we've talked about before, to

Tey: Sharp-eared listeners will recall
that I murdered Alison's first character.

Alison : You murdered Lav.

Yep.

Tey: And I listened, I listened to
that episode and, had a little minor

anxiety attack where I was like,
oh God, I've caused real life pain!

Alison : You elevated a story.

That's the whole point of that is that you
gave something made up, fantasy, right?

Meaning and stakes and
that's, that's beautiful.

Tey: But like a really interesting thing
to talk about with these games because,

and I feel it especially being a GM.

You have to have such care to the humans
involved because we invest so deeply.

And like you all have talked about
before there is a piece of you in

these characters and being aware of
that and being respectful of that.

And also allowing those pieces of
you to rise to heroic challenges is

sort of what the game is all about.

Like, you can't leave the kid gloves on.

But at the same time, you know, there
are people for whom I know that GMing is

like a power trip and I am just here to
be able to express some kind of control

maybe that I don't have in my life.

Alison : And it's a very dangerous place
to be in because you have such power

and you need to wield it responsibly.

That's my soapbox moment.

I'm not blowing smoke.

I'm staring at two of my favorite
GMs to play with, Matt and Tey.

And I don't feel that
way about either of you.

I mean, you're, you both are very good
at challenging and pushing on players.

We have to play at our level.

But I, yeah, I don't, I've never
felt a power trip situation, so

Matt Start: Thank you.

Thank you.

We are kind of supporting the players
and yet Lav's death made it onto a

podcast, it was such a big event.

It was so important and
it's so necessary to do.

Alison : Of all of the ways for Lav to go
and all of the NPCs to kill her, the fact

that it was Vecna and everything going
on with Stranger Things and Vecna is.

I've had so many friends now
because I had told them that

Vecna is who killed my character.

See, I didn't say Tey.

I said Vecna..

Becca, um, And they now have
watched Stranger Things.

They're like, that's the same one
that killed you and, well, yes and

no, not really, but yet, but yeah.

So

Tey: It's a big multiverse out there.

Matt Start: I would also like to
point out that, that Vecna killed

us before Season Four 4 premiered.

Tey: True.

It had not announced.

And,

Matt Start: I think you were ahead of the
curve there, as Vecna the killing machine.

Tey: We were doing multiverse
shenanigans before, before Dr.

Strange, before Everything
Everywhere All At Once.

Big plug for that movie.

Go see that movie.

It's so good.

Matt Start: I gotta
see it, I gotta see it.

Tey: It's so good.

Yeah.

Matt Start: Oh, speaking of
which side note, apparently,

I have not seen the movie yet.

I'm dying to see it.

Tey: Oh, Everything
Everywhere All At Once?

Matt Start: Yeah.

Yeah.

Sorry.

Everything Everywhere All At Once.

The directors during that

Tey: The Davids.

Matt Start: Thank you.

I think it's the Davids.

There was some, some aspect of the
movie that, kind of speaks to the, the

mindset of someone with ADHD in some way.

And he discovered during the filming of
that, that he does in fact have ADHD.

He's like, oh, wow.

Okay.

That makes sense.

That's why I wanted to go there.

And that's what it is.

So.

Tey: There's something so fascinating
about that because so those

directors, I would characterize
their style as like sensory overload.

Like it's like constant sensory
stimulus and input, but there's

something really interesting.

And I think over the course of their
career, you see them honing it and

defining it, cuz Everything Everywhere All
At Once definitely has a sensory overload.

But I don't know.

I felt carried in it.

I felt buoyed.

Like I could make my way through
the movie, even if it was a lot

happening, it was never like, oh, whoa.

I'm just totally lost and shutting down.

I don't know.

There was like, there was such a clear,
cohesive through line and like a pull

that's not just we slapped a bunch of
stuff on the wall and now it's all there.

Now you sift through it, you know?

Matt Start: Um, Alison, you, you
do have some topics cuz otherwise

we'll just, we could just tangent for

Alison : Would be on
brand and I wouldn't mind.

Um, so in preparation for Tey coming,
one thing I have gotten to know

is that Tey loves a D100 table.

There are tables in all that we
do .Your wild magic surge table

is a thing of art and beauty.

So in that same spirit, this is actually
something that I've been meaning to do

pretty much since we started this, I
have finally put together a D100 table,

an ADHD100 table that will become, you
know, just like the outline, the thing

we'll probably forget about half the
time, but, you know, keep us honest.

And in the spirit of my ADHD,
naturally it is not finished.

Cause why would I have
finished something I started?

So I'm hoping that maybe you could help
with a, like a couple of questions to

like cherry on the top of the sundae.

But I'd also like for, to also
go ahead and roll some D100s so

we can break open this table.

Tey: I'm so I am so happy.

I am kid in a candy store right now.

Because the, Okay, so right before
we get into this, the reason why I

love random tables is because to me,
that's, that is the third element of

what makes a tabletop game so good.

And so juicy is you, have, your
players each coming to the table,

you have a mechanics system of some
kind that allows for, you know,

resolution of these narratives,
strings and conflicts or whatever.

And then you have random chance,
just random ass chance and the way

that can spur creativity and allow
stories to take new directions that

you did not conceive of in your mind.

It's fantastic.

Especially if you're in the GM
chair, you are naturally always

thinking a couple of steps ahead.

You're always thinking of like,
Okay, well, if they do this,

then probably will do this.

Even if you're a very fly by the
seat of your pants, improvisational

GM, which I am like, I do not don't
script anything ahead of time.

Even if you have that, you already
have in your mind, maybe like the next

five or six moves at least, but when
you roll it on a table, you can't plan

for that and you just have to react.

And that state of being of just
reacting is my favorite thing.

So that's a very long way
of saying I'm ready to roll.

Alison : All right.

Tey: What, what order are we?

What

Alison : Well, why don't
we roll initiatives?

Tey: Oh, dang.

Oh, dang.

Okay.

Oh, seven.

Alison : I rolled a four,

Matt Start: Twelve.

Alison : Matty!

Tey: Matt.

Alison : The big winner today,
Matt, what was your D100 role?

Matt Start: My D100 role is 79.

Alison : This is so exciting.

This is our first ADHD100 read.

I love it.

I'm so happy.

All right.

79.

What advice do you have for someone
recently diagnosed with ADHD?

Matt Start: My advice, for besides listen
to this podcast, because I think you could

both learn about ADHD & D&D at the same
time, maybe something you're not, you

know, doing currently, which you should.

Definitely I feel like
number one, congratulations.

Like you're lucky.

I think that before I was diagnosed with
ADHD before I kind of started to put all

of these pieces together, there was loss,
there was depression, there was confusion.

There was just beating the shit outta
myself, because I didn't understand that

it is my brain that's working differently
and that's totally okay, right.

You're born with what you get.

And so the first thing I would say is.

You wanna have coffee?

Let's talk about it.

Seriously.

Let us, let's just talk.

Let's just, what questions do you have?

And do that with everybody
that you can possibly find

that knows that they have ADHD.

And, yeah, just find that community
that instantly exists, right?

Find your crew and hang out with them as
much as you can, because you're not alone.

That's the main thing it's
like, The joy definitely is.

Oh, thank God, you're not alone.

So that's what I would do.

Call me up, is what I would say.

Tey: That's really beautiful.

Can I ask a follow up?

May I just grab the wheel of
y'all's podcast for a second?

what, What is involved in a diagnosis?

Like people talk about diagnosed,
not diagnosed, et cetera, like for

y'all what was that process like?

What did that look like?

Do they poke you with a needle?

Like, I don't know.

I hope not.

Matt Start: And that's a funny
thing, because that was 20 years

ago that I got that diagnosis and
I wonder now what it would be like.

Um, It seems to still be
just a list of questions.

Alison : I was diagnosed seven
years ago, so yeah, it, I

Tey: With a list.

It's a list of

Alison : Mm-hmm

Matt Start: Can confirm.

Alison : Mm-hmm

Tey: Questions?

Like like a, like a, Like a quiz?

Like,

Matt Start: Yeah.

Alison : I'm sure it's
different for children, teens.

because I basically walked
into the doctor's office and

said, I know I have ADHD.

I've always had ADHD.

What are we gonna kind of do about it?

but even, Once I got officially
diagnosed in my doctor's office, I

didn't do anything about it for years.

I, I was 37 before I started any
kind of therapy practice for it.

I've only just now tried medication
for it in the last six months.

So the diagnosis then
was, was oh, okay, cool.

There's There's a label for
this I'm part of something.

This whole time, society has been making
me feel lazy, unmotivated, you know, like

something's wrong with me for not being
able to finish projects that I start.

For being anxious about things that
the rest of the world deems dumb.

I've had many, many people in the
past tell me you're being really

dramatic about something stupid.

Matt Start: I will say though
that, because that does sound

super confusing and it is true.

it's just a, I think it's
just a questionnaire.

And so yes, there are lots of people who
kind of just walk and say, I have ADHD

and I, you know, so I need some Adderall.

I think there's probably tons of people
that do that, which, you know, makes

getting Adderall more complicated.

But I think that when I was diagnosed and
it's many times in the last 20 years, I

have not believed it or believed in it.

But more recently, as people are speaking
out about it and talking about it there's

no question that I do now, but it,
but it isn't, I wouldn't say that one

questionnaire just 100% pegged me, right.

Like I think it did enough for
the doctor to say, okay, yep.

That sounds about right.

Because there are some things, that
someone who doesn't know that they

have ADHD takes as granted or takes
as neurotypical, that aren't, right?

So I think, I think that maybe a good
therapist can go in and say, okay,

based on how they're acting, what
they're doing, are they stemming?

Are they like, you know, are
they playing with their hair

or do they have a little thing?

Are they, and all of it together with
these, you know, 20 questions or whatever

it's I think they can kind of make it more
qualified, but yeah, it's totally random.

And they're now of course
discovering, is it related to autism?

Is it related to all these other things?

So I don't know if there'll ever
be a, like a blood test, maybe.

I dunno.

Tey: That's really fascinating to me
because I, as I imagine, probably many

of your listeners do, I, I hope so.

I don't wanna be alone, but I
certainly would listen to y'all

tell stories and go, oh wow.

I really identify with that.

Oh, I'm totally different than that.

Oh, wow.

That sounds like something
that happened to me.

Right?

Like I'm basing some of my own
memories and experiences off of

what y'all are bringing up and going
like, do I need to look into this

further or do I just really like these
people and wanna be in their club?

Like What is happening right now?

What is happening?

Matt Start: Both.

Alison : We

Matt Start: kidding.

Alison : We welcome you in either sense.

Matt Start: Either way.

however, However

Alison : Um,

Great tangent, you guys, Tey,
what did you role on your

Tey: uh, Well, I rolled 81.

Alison : Tey, you and I both rolled an 81!

Tey: Oh my gosh.

It's perfect.

It's perfect.

Okay,

Alison : So, yeah.

So the question that you will now
answer is What about your life

right now would a younger version
of yourself find hardest to believe?

Tey: I think my younger self didn't
actually have a whole lot of ambitions.

I don't know.

I think I have generally gone through
my life with a plucky optimism that

like infuriates my partners, um, that,
no, but honestly that like what's right

in front of me, it's what I'm doing.

My dreams as a kid were like,
I want to be making theater,

I think, with people I like.

And I knew more about what I didn't
want to do than what I did want to do.

I knew that I did not want to go to
LA because it sounded like a place

that was all about like image and who,
you know, and playing, like a social

climbing game to further your career.

Spoiler alert.

It's always that everywhere you go, it
doesn't matter if you're on the West Coast

or not, so that didn't really pan out.

But beyond that, I didn't really know
what form or shape my life would take

or what I would, get interested in.

But I left a lot of room open
to get interested in things.

And what I found, what I discovered
through living my life was that the

thing that really got me fired up was
this idea of participatory theater.

It's what led me to RPGs, but I was
doing it way before I ever played an RPG.

I made these weird shows in
college that were, shout out to Ned

Baker my like, partner in crime.

We would make these shows that were,
like stage combat stunt spectaculars that

would range all across campus where the
audience would have like points where

they would decide what would happen next.

It was very choose your own adventure.

So there's always been
that desire, that interest.

And I think it's about that specific
relationship to audience, being someone

who like, I have a thing prepared for
you, I have an experience prepared for

you, but I need you in order to do it or
to figure out how it ends or to figure

out how the middle is filled, right?

Like I need the audience for that reason.

And that relationship is what
artistically fires me up.

And that's exactly what I'm doing now.

So I think the that's the longest way
of saying my younger self would take a

stock of my current life and go, huh.

That's all right.

Yeah, I get it.

I get it.

You know?

Alison : Yeah.

It also tracks why you are such a good
and I presumably also love GMing if

Tey: I love GMing.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah.

Yes.

For that exact reason, I am so ready to
tell a story that is also me finding the

story and discovering the story as I go.

And that's exactly what GMing is.

You're the storyteller, but you
have no idea how it's gonna go.

Alison..

So question 81.

Alison : yeah, question 81

Tey: What about 99?

What's 99 doing for you?

If I just rolled 99.

Matt End: could you, do you
have one that you might want to

throw out to Alison

Tey: I do.

I do.

I've been thinking about this
one a lot as I've been listening.

So Alison, um, this is more of a,
more of a D&D related question,

but, what is it about D&D for you?

Emotionally, what draws you in and what
keeps you wanting to play this game?

Alison : Hilarious that the person who
like pushes all my buttons in game is

now pushing my buttons on my own podcast.

Tey: You think you're an agent
of chaos, but you have seen

nothing of chaos, you know, not

Alison : That's really why we
wanted Tey here, for the voices.

I could just sit here and listen to
the many voices of Tey all day long.

How do you put feelings into words?

I know that's like the age old question
and that's gonna come off as such a cop

out, but I don't have words for this.

It's bigger than that because all
I know is the very first time I

played my very first session, it
was suddenly all I wanted to do.

Tey: Well, let, let me see,
let me see if I can get at it

by like stripping stuff away.

If it was D&D, but it was not
anything to do with any fantasy genre.

There's no silly names.

There's no magic, but it's still
a character and it's still in

another world that's not our own.

Would it be something that you're
still like, oh yeah, I wanna do that.

Alison : I think you're
already finding something.

I like the, even when I think about
the characters I build, I tend to

almost always wanna be a caster.

You know, I built a rogue and
as soon as Matt would let me,

multi-classed her into Bard.

I've tried fighter.

It didn't work.

Tey: Okay.

So there's something about magic.

That is important.

Okay.

Let me try this.

What if I told you that we could
play without any dice rolls?

We're still sharing that was immediate.

Immediate.

Okay.

Okay.

So that aspect of it, what if I was like,
what if I was like, yeah, there are dice

rolls, but we're gonna play a game that
has, that has no combat in it at all.

That it's just magic people in a magic
world putting together a, a magic fair,

like they have to put on a magic carnival
and we're not gonna have any combat.

Alison : No, I would not like that.

Tey: No, not good.

Okay.

See that.

We're getting to the bottom of it.

I tell you that.

Okay.

Well, well, what if I told you this?

What if I said, we're gonna do, I wanna
run a game that is like a gauntlet game.

You're a magic caster with your
friends, but it's literally just,

it's, it's a gauntlet of a dungeon one
level, one boss fight, and we make our

way down and that's the whole game.

Alison : I would wanna play that it, and
it's interesting though, but, I think

2020 Alison would've been all about that.

Whereas now, like the evolution
that has happened is like, well,

no, but I'd missed the role playing.

You know, Matt has pushed on my
buttons in one of our games where he

has introduced a love story into it.

And at first I shut that shit
down faster than anything else I

wanted nothing to do with that.

Matt End: Which is fair.

Of course.

It's fair.

You know, you should be allowed to shut

Alison : Yeah.

Yeah.

It was very weird and very
like alien for me to try.

And I was like, N no, first of
all, like we're not here for that.

We're here to mash baddies.

Um, And now, like that has become
something that both I and my

character get excited about is now
like that, that is out in the open

and feelings have been confessed.

Tey: I think I've just discovered
what I set out to discover, which is

that you and I are the polar opposite.

Alison : Interesting.

Tell me more.

Tey: I don't care if it's fantasy
or if it's magic, I don't care

if we're doing combats or not.

I could care less about the system.

I don't care.

Honestly, even if they're a dice, like
I said earlier, like I love dice as

like a randomizing kind of force, but
there don't need to be dice to do that.

That can happen in many other ways.

And it could just be as
long as there's a story.

As long as there's a narrative,
as long as there's something,

some kind of role playing or story
to figure out there doesn't even

need to be role playing there.

There are games out there like I've
played, you know, A Quiet Year and

Microscope where it's literally
just me and my friends sitting

around deciding what the story is.

We're not even playing characters, we're
just bouncing ideas off of each other

and like creating a story together,
like almost like a writer's room.

And I'm like, that is a
fulfilling RPG experience for me.

Alison : And that's why you and
Matt get along so well, as I think

Matt End: We might, we
might be the same person

Tey: Love it.

Matt End: We might be

the

Alison : is,

This is Matt over the course of
the last year with this world that

he's now built for us, that we
debuted Castle Birthday Weekend.

Like, that was so fun for Matt.

And I was like, plug me in.

I wanna play.

I'll answer a question
if you need it, but I

Tey: Wow.

Alison : Wanna play in the
world that you've built.

So yay.

I'm sitting here talking
to two of the same people.

Wonderful.

Matt End: So, so to, to go back a little
bit about, about, you know, pushing you

were not supposed to, or should ever push
someone into an uncomfortable situation.

It's just, that Ireena fell in
love with AK's character, period.

Because of the things that, that
the character was doing and helping

and and that's all Alison, that
was all like, I did not set out

to create a romance, for anybody,

Tey: Yeah.

Most, Most of my characters
are like asexual, explicitly.

Yeah.

Matt End: Yeah, of course.

I think that's probably
the most, the safer

Tey: Maybe a healthy rule to have as a GM.

Yeah.

Matt End: Also healthy, but
I just, as Alison became more

comfortable and you got to know the
character it just happened one day.

You made that decision in my mind, right?

Tey: Let, Let me ask you Matt, because
this is how I have thought about it.

And I speak it in these terms.

I think of when I'm running, I think of
myself as I am the engine of a video game.

I only render the things you look at.

If you don't get invested
in this thing, I'm not gonna

spend any mental space on it.

But if you spend a lot of time on that
thing, I'm gonna learn things about

it, that I didn't know, were there.

Matt End: 1000%.

I was gonna say that to the point where
I, you know, I tell my wife she's like

D&D today, so you'll be done at three.

But I always forget the hour or so that
I have to spend making notes on what

they have changed that they have already
built in that three hours, four hours.

Like I have to, I was like, oh my
gosh, I just, you just invented

your dad and you didn't know it,
but now I know where the dad was.

Tey: Matthew, uh, yep.

Copy paste, except it's at midnight.

And y'all talked about you've talked
on a previous episode about like our

Thursday game being done at midnight and
then having to like decompress from it.

But yes, I am like, we're done at
midnight and now I am like writing

frantic furious notes of like, whoa,
not even what happened this session,

but like, what are the implications?

What are the consequences of
what just happened this session?

What does this mean for
like our ongoing threads?

And then I've gotta decompress from that.

Alison : It it's all
changed my mind about it.

I will say like seeing the

Tey: Well,

Alison : play into it.

Tey: Let me do a follow
up to that question then.

What keeps you invested so
deeply in Critical Role?

And is it the same things or not as
a viewer, as opposed to a player?

Alison : I have a confession, you guys

Tey: Oh,

Alison : I've failed out of
both seasons one and three.

So I'm back to two.

Tey: What?

I don't get it.

Oh,

Alison : I it too much, I just had
to go back to my security blanket!

Matt End: Yep.

Tey: that's

Alison : Because now I'm watching
it again and I'm picking up all the

delicious little breadcrumbs that
they had dropped us the whole time.

That of course, you know, watching it,
I didn't realize you can see the depth.

So now I'm watching it as a player
to better understand the relationship

between player and game master.

And so now that I know how it's all gonna
shake out, it's really cool to watch like

how they started to set those stories up
dozens of episodes, like there's stuff

going on in episode four that we aren't
gonna find out about until the eighties.

And so I guess that's the answer to
the question is that like you could

watch this a million times and find
nuances every single version through.

Matt End: Okay.

So I have a question for
Tey then along those lines.

Are you, would you consider yourself
a careful person meaning Alison

goes back and she watches things
over and over and over and over and

picks up on those juicy details.

That can be torturous to me.

I have a few things that I revisit,
but that is just not my freaking jam.

Tey: I'm so glad that you
clarified because when you

said, are you a careful person?

I thought you meant just like.

like in life, like carrying dishes,
like going, you know, whatever.

I'm like, no, the answer is no,
the answer is yes, I am a klutz.

No, I am not a careful person.

And I'm not a terribly
careful watcher either.

I also very rarely if ever go back
to rewatch something, I can probably

count on both hands, the number
of movies that I have rewatched.

And I would say that like toot my
own horn here, I think it has made

me a more close watcher because
I know I'm like one and done.

Or something else, something
that I will do actually.

And this is kind of a dirty little secret.

I don't really like to lead with this,
but I will often give myself spoilers

for something I'm about to watch.

Like I will go onto Wikipedia and I will
get the general plot breakdown before I

watch it so that I can pick up on all of
the things when I watch it through the

first time and not have to see it again.

Alison : You just broke my brain and
explained something to me about myself.

Tey: Oh!

Alison : The reason that I watch things
over and over again is because I don't

pay attention the first 47 times.

And I don't want to!

I don't want to, like, I want
to be playing on my phone or,

you know, washing the dishes cuz
that's how my brain functions.

But that's probably why for the
two of you who, because I feel like

Matt's obviously more in your camp.

No, I, I, I, I love this.

Matt End: Well is there something
that would wrap all of this

this beautiful ADHD jam up?

Do we wanna give Tey one more?

Tey: I'm getting, I'm getting my
dice tray up to the mic so we can

get some sweet clickety clack sounds.

Alison : Yes.

Oh,

Tey: 71.

Alison : What is the, the most
likely thing to distract you during

combat when it isn't your turn?

So I need to ask you that as
a player, obviously not a GM.

Tey: Almost anything.

I have, I have a really hard time
being a player for this reason.

Combat specifically sometimes
can be torturously boring to me.

I can't sit through other people's turns.

If you're the GM, you're always
going, you are active, active,

active, cuz you must always be
thinking and reacting and responding.

And every single moment is firing
on all cylinders and it feels the

way that I think combat should feel.

Like, the way that I hope combats do feel.

I've never had, I've never had
the, the gumption or the verve

to try the Angry GM technique.

Have y'all heard of this?

So Angry GM is a blog.

They have, a technique that is doing
combat, like a dolphin where you

don't give people any time to respond.

If you don't start speaking and saying
what your action is within, like the

first two seconds you've passed turn
and you've lost your turn to indecision.

And it's a thing that like, I have
always wanted to try, but I'm, I'm not

like firm or mean, and I'm so I'm, so
pat I'm like, whatever y'all wanna do

is great by me is like my general ethos.

So I can't ever get it in me to
do that, but it's the way that

I think combat should feel.

And I never get that
experience as a player.

And I've had some great GMs.

I've had some great GMs, but
anytime you have to sit and wait for

your turn to come around, is bad.

Alison : So I literally yesterday
edited the podcast episode

that will be out tomorrow.

And it's hilarious that you brought
this up because the biggest chunk

of what we talk about in that
episode is Matt's feeling vexed

about combat taking too long.

Tey: Oh, what?

Alison : And

I.

You are like it's

Matt End: I know, I

Alison : need to just, I need to just
leave and just let you two bro it out.

Matt End: Yeah.

Don't ever leave.

Tey: No,

No, no, no.

We need, we need you here
as the balancing force.

Otherwise the engine will just,
and then explode off into space.

Alison : Well, and in that episode I
say that I have never experienced a

combat that I think takes too long.

Cuz I think combat is, I
know, I know like I'm now like

Tey: Shocked faces, shocked

Matt End: I was stunned, I was
stunned when she said that.

Alison : That it was yeah.

When a Critical Role episode that the
entire episode is combat, I am here for.

One of our games where the
entire thing is combat.

I am here for.

So hilarious.

Tey: What are you doing?

What are you doing
with all your downtime?

Alison : Prepping for my turn.

So that way, if I ever do encounter
an Angry GM I'm, you know, so like I'm

listening to what other people are doing.

So what is, and isn't working, I'm
going through my spell sheet, like,

what is the like baddest possible
move I could make, especially

Tey: That's why you're a great
player, but I'm also shocked.

Alison : And I love it.

I live for that.

It is the most fun thing in the world

Tey: well, and I live for your joy.

That's

Matt End: It makes me happy to hear this.

I mean, I, it I'm stunned,
but it really makes I'm glad.

I'm glad

Alison : I was stunned when I heard
that, like the reason Matt was trying

to play with some home brew rules
and make some different, you know,

combat configurations was because
Matt thought combat took too long.

That shocked me.

So we're just all in
here, shocking each other.

Matt End: And also, because I
think that it should be deadlier.

That's yes.

Faster and deadlier combat.

Alison : I will say I hear you both on.

Because my immediate knee jerk reaction
to what you just shared about the angry GM

was no, but I hear you both on the stakes.

It's gotta matter.

And if you're too loving and you
know, oh, whatever experience

you want today, like that's dumb.

Tey: A lot of, but a lot
of players are really into.

Playing it like, like a board
game where you can just sit and

think and tactically talk it out.

And I'm not here to crush their joy.

And my true kryptonite as a GM
is like a player's puppy eyes.

Like all they have to do
is be like, but can we?

And I'm like, yes, of course
you can do whatever you want.

Like I'm so permissive in that way.

Alison : I will say, as you guys share
the things that you like crunch on

your soul in game, the way apparently
com like combat taking too long does.

That's why I feel the way I feel about
shopping episodes and strategy episodes

when we spend entire, because it's all,
it's everything we've been saying in

this episode, it's all gonna go to shit.

So why are we gonna spend two
hours pouring over like, how

are we gonna open this door?

Just kick it open.

We'll figure out the other
side on the other side.

That's, when I get like, this is
taking too long, when we go through

like every possible multiverse
option for walking through that door.

So players beware.

If you're playing with me and you
take two hours to come up with

a strategy, I'm gonna get mad.

Tey: Well, and it's all tempered
and it all has to be balanced.

And if there's anything that two
straight years of running for,

like dozens and dozens of strangers
on the internet has taught me.

It's just that everyone has
their own version of fun.

And trying to get all of that in a
game is quite a feat, and respect

everyone's version of fun and let
everyone have a bit of what they want.

But that's also the
experience of being human.

So it's also my favorite.

Matt End: Wow.

that's it?

Bravo.

That's it.

That's the end of the podcast.

Alison : I'm already.

preparing for the next time Tey comes on.

I'm already preparing to be the
first listener and number one fan

of y'all's forthcoming podcast.

Tey: I'm so thrilled.

Alison : So, thank you for being on a
part of this and it's just always so

great to listen to you, talk and share.

Tey: Thanks.

Matt End: Period.

Yeah.

This is, this has been amazing.

Thank you so much Tey.

Tey: Thank you for having
me, y'all are my favorites.

Matt End: You're our favorite.